Sex Toy Reviews

A Box Full of Surprises

“Are you ready to do this?”

It wasn’t exactly the sexiest proposition either of us had ever made, but there we were, naked in bed together, sunlight forcing its way through the semi-closed blinds and drapes. The ceiling fan serenaded us with a tick-whir-tick-whir rhythm.

“Yeah, sure.”

He’d unwrapped the box from Unbound (received in exchange for an honest review) a few days before. Very little looked familiar.

What was this black thing with the ears?

Was that supposed to be a belly chain? Ha! Definitely not one size fits all.

Ginger-lychee to “enhance” sensations? I bet.

Ohhhh, are those pretty nipple stickers?

But I’ve jumped ahead. Before we adorned my body with crystal stickers, we played. Sort of.

“You know, I have a bare, pretty pussy that’s been kind of ignored lately.” Pout-pout.

“I know, babygirl. I’ll be making up for that lack of attention very soon.” I shivered in response.

“First, let’s try this.” This was the Intro 2 – a black vibrator by JimmyJane. He turned it on, and started skimming my mons with it, teasing my slit, coming closer and closer to my clit.

It felt…different.

“Let’s try this.”

Me, who never takes control of the situation, really needed him to find a new position. I moved my body and his hand. That was slightly better. The vibrations weren’t strong as long as the sides of the ears touched my body.

When he grazed my body with the tips of the ears, I hissed. In pleasure at first and then, “Ahh! Please no.” This wasn’t the kinky request of a masochist pretending she didn’t want anymore. It was the pain-filled voice of someone who didn’t want that feeling near her clit.

Finally, we found it. The right position. The broadside of the ear rested against my clitoral hood. Vibrations pulsed through my body. Ohhhh yes, this might feel good. My hips began to rock forward. Small shudders rippled through my limbs. Warmth filled my center. I could feel my labia swell. Moisture leaked from my body.

Two orgasms later, and I still wasn’t completely lost in the sensations. Every time he moved the toy away from that one sweet spot, the sensation was more annoying than pleasurable.

“I think it’s time we tried the Ginger Lychee stuff.” That “stuff” is an arousal gel. According to the instructions, one drop on my clit should be enough.

With the drop applied, we waited for a second. Then another. Nothing. Tired of waiting, he dove in, licking and lapping like a kid with an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. Now that definitely felt good. I grabbed his hair, pulling his face into my body. My hips lifted as my body convulsed. He slurped up my body’s offering.

He pulled back as I collapsed into the bed. “Did you feel anything?”

“Besides really good?” We both laughed. “Did it taste good?”

“Not bad.”

“Try it again. I didn’t feel anything.”

This time, he was heavy-handed with the bottle. Instead of a drop on my clit, it was a dribble that trickled down my entire slit. The sensations were nearly instant.

“Ahhhhh! Ow! Ow! It burns, Daddy! Get it off! Get. It. Off!!”

He dove down again, licking and lapping as I screeched. It felt like Icy-Hot on my pussy. Icy-Hot that had worked it’s way into every crevice, every nook, and every cranny.

I writhed as he desperately sucked up as much of the gel as possible. The only moisture in my cunt was from his tongue and the bottle of hellfire calling itself “arousal” gel. Reaching down between my legs, I spread my lips apart.

“Get in there! It hurts! It huuuuuuuurts!”

At some point he gave up and found a wet cloth to wipe the last remains of the gel off.  It barely helped. I whimpered as the remaining gel clung stubbornly to my body. The freezing/burning sensations lasted for another five minutes. In the meantime, he pulled me close and rocked me as I hissed and twisted my hips, willing the feeling to subside.

Eventually it did. I realize (now) that part of my panic was that I didn’t know how long the feeling would last.

“I would say that stuff is the opposite of arousal gel.” My words were muffled in his chest.

“I would have to agree babygirl.”

“This is disappointing.” I humphed and pouted.

“We still have the chain and stickers to try.” He sounded hopeful. I snorted in reply.

“This can’t be how our afternoon ends, Daddy. It can’t!” The pouting was pretty ridiculous. If we hadn’t been on the bed, I would have stomped my foot, too.

“What do you want, babygirl?”

“I want to fuck, Daddy!”

He needed no more encouragement than that. Without a word, he pushed me away, turned my body, and pulled me against him, my ass grinding against his pelvis.

Oh yes, we both wanted – and needed – to fuck. And we did.

The Unbound Box Review

As you can tell, the toy review didn’t go as most others usually do. Very little will turn you off than an unpleasant burning sensations in your groin.

Prior to trying the Intro 2, we couldn’t figure out how it was meant to work, so we watched a video review of a similar but more high-end version (the Form 2) online. The ears are meant to be pinched and pressed against your clit. Yeah, well, the Intro 2 is the overweight, bulky cousin to the Form 2, and it felt like a jackhammer against my body – except for one specific position. A position I was never able to find again when we tried later.

I like intense sensations (hello, my fave toy is one of the strongest on the market) but between the Intro 2 and the arousal gel, I was a bundle of sad little nerves. Icy-Hot and pussies shouldn’t mix – unless you really love that kind of feeling.

The nipple pasties by Mimi were the highlight of the box. Although, the stickers hurt when we pulled them off. Think band-aid sensation. Nothing like what the rest had done to me earlier, thankfully.

The Unbound body chain is beautiful but definitely meant for a smaller woman. If I become a smaller woman, I may try to put it on. Until then, it goes back into the box. On the website, you have a choice between a standard size or a curvy size. Maybe the larger one would have worked.

Unbound offers toys for sale individually (so if you like the pasties, you can buy them) and a subscription service. Every three months, you receive a box with goodies to try. What I received was the Delta box.

The upside is that you can try something new at a fraction of the cost and without having to spend lots of time shopping around. The downside is that it might not be a good fit for you or your partner – as my experience shows. The nice thing about Unbound is that they offer returns so if you don’t like something – even in your subscription box, you can send it back and get a refund. If I had paid for this, that’s what I would have done.

If you’re considering a subscription service for your sexy toys, my advice would be to check their return policy and give them no more than 2 shipments to prove themselves. No one likes every toy so it makes sense you’d get something you wouldn’t enjoy, but it shouldn’t happen every time, either.

Oh, and don’t worry, we laughed our butts off (later) at my howling and his ineffectual licking to remove the gel. Once the pain subsided, it was actually funny as hell.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


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