Getting Fit for Kink #podcast


You want to know what a kinky problem looks like?

It’s when you physically can’t do the kinky fuckery you want to do. And not because of an illness or injury. No, because you’re gained too much weight, lost flexibility, and forgot what exercise even feels like.


So that’s what happened to me. One day, I’m like, “I’ll ride you like a stallion, John Brownstone!” (I may or may not have referred to him as the Italian Stallion – in my best babygirl voice) and the next day, I was crying because I couldn’t hold myself up and my thighs were screaming when I straddled him – and he’s not exactly a large man.

I’m a fixer, y’all, so my motivation for losing weight stopped being “I want to be x-amount of pounds” which wasn’t really motivating me at all to “I want do the kinky fuckery I like” which is incredibly motivating – at least to me.

Eating healthier (with room for fun foods!) and working out are what I’m focusing on right now, but in the meantime, two things happened:

I wanted to find motivation among my kink-friendly peeps because no one else was going to understand why it sucks not being able to stand for the hour it takes to get bound with rope. When I couldn’t find a group, I created one: Fit for Kink (Google Communities).

And two, I figured I wasn’t alone in my desire to get fit, and that other kinksters, while having their own individual motivations, would understand the idea of being fit for our kink.

That’s the focus for this week’s episode. This is where I also admit that I’m heavier than John Brownstone – who is my height, by the way. And I imagine a conversation between me and a vanilla fitness professional that would make them run screaming in the other direction.

Oh, and there is a transcript for this show for my readers out there!

From the show:

  • A few disclaimers about body weight, physical fitness, and being fat: Fat bodies are beautiful. You can be healthy and still be overweight. Few of us will ever have the perfect body we imagine, and that’s okay.
  • Sometimes kinky fun can’t happen because of physical limitations. You either modify what you’re doing, suffer through the discomfort or pain, and stop doing it completely.
  • We modify kneeling positions and sexual positions all the time. There’s nothing wrong with modifications.
  • After a bit weight gain over the past few years, my issues are less about my appearance and more about what I can’t do anymore: certain rope bondage, sexual positions, even getting rough is more difficult.
  • Once the motivation changed from losing weight or looking good to being stronger and more fit for kinky fuckery, I made changes: eating healthier, starting new exercise programs.
  • I believe I’m not the only one who wants to get into shape for kinky fuckery. Frankly, vanilla or kinky, lots of people want to lose weight for all kinds of reasons.
  • I went looking for an online group that was kink-friendly and would help with motivation. Not finding one that was a good fit, I created my own on Google+.
  • Fit for Kink: a place for motivation, advice, to share successes, and to ask questions. Kinky and kink-friendly fitness/weight loss professionals are encouraged to join.
  • Ultimately, it would be nice to have a resource for people to reach out with specific questions about how to become fitter or more flexible in order to get into kinky positions or try new things.
  • This group is not a place to pick up your next hook up. It’s safe place for the kinky or kink-friendly among us to find support and motivation.

Listen to the show:

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About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

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