I think some people believe this sex and orgasm thing is supposed to be very serious business. Serious business, indeed!
Laughter and orgasms can cure almost any ill.
It started with my review for Lava 3 in 1. I'd tried out two of the three (ya know, of the "3 in 1") and felt bad that we hadn't given the bullet a good try.
Earlier in the day, I'd asked. "Can we try this one out. It'd be nice to have something sexy for Masturbation Monday." (Yes, this is how I really think.)
His eyes lit up (I should have known something was up). "Oh yes, I think that would be an excellent idea, babygirl."
Uh oh. He had something very specific in mind.
Later that night, we were goofing around. Laughing. Being silly. Can I remember what it was about now? No, the insane orgasms that came later blew it all out of my mind. But I remember the giggles. If I recall, it came down to a conversation with a bit of confusion about what I meant. Babygirl tears followed, and I wailed, "When did you become a 'typical man,' Daddy?!"
Incredulous laughter from him broke through my weepiness (what the hell was that all about?!) and I started to giggle, too.
For him, that was perfect segue into a naked babygirl, flat on her back, legs spread wide, as he applied the bullet.
From the first touch, my body was on fire. This thing packed a punch in a way the other parts of the toy didn't. And with him wielding it, there was no mercy. Not that I wanted any.
He set it against my clit, on the highest setting, and let the bullet do it's thing.
I cried out. I gripped the blanket. I arched my back. I half sat up. Orgasms rained down - or exploded from within, you decide. My body was on fire. The soles of my feet tingled. My legs shook.
Then he pressed harder.
I twisted and turned, my thighs clamping down over his hand, which only made the sensations more intense. Orgasm after orgasm was forced from my body. I shrieked into the pillows, convulsing. Every muscle locked. I couldn't move, but neither could he.
He chuckled. ?!
"You've locked me in, babygirl. I can't move my hand."
Clearly, this was a hilarious problem to have. Except I couldn't join in on the humor. My bones were melted away. My body refused to move. And the buzzing kept going, so the orgasms kept coming.
Finally, I managed to move one leg. He let me have another orgasm - I'm sure for good measure.
Somehow, in the melee, I'd twisted almost onto my stomach. My body ached.
I whined. "Daddy, my back hurts. Will you rub my back?"
Yes, in the middle of kinky fuckery, I was asking for a back rub - and no, not a sexy one. Thankfully, he took mercy on me.
The ridiculousness of it hit us both at the same time. Especially when he used the bullet that had just been pressed against my clit and was now covered in sticky fluids as a massager on my back (which felt really good, by the way.)
"Yep, look at us, sexy, kinky freaks. So kinky we have to stop and take a break in the middle."
We giggled together. Tears spilled down my cheeks. Something about it was hilarious, but it could have been that the orgasms turned my brain to mush.
After a few minutes, he flipped me back over. He wasn't done with me yet. I was still boneless and melted.
"Have your way with me, Daddy!" Melodrama at its finest. I was his sacrificial lamb, if my lamb we mean "willing victim" even if I couldn't move a muscle.
The bullet was back on, and now, he was smoothing it along my slit. With a quick push it was inside. I felt almost nothing. That was disappointing, but his hands were free, and he used the moment to his advantage.
It started when he knelt by the bed and set his tongue against my clit. That whole 'not able to move thing' was over. I sat straight up with each swipe of his tongue. My very sensitive pussy reacted to even the slightest touch. More orgasms. Less bones.
When he stood up, removed the bullet, and pulled me to the edge of the bed, I knew what was coming. I set my legs against his chest and waited.
The bullet, still running, bounced around on the bed, hitting the base and making an awful noise. He frantically grabbed for the off button, but it went through the rest of it's setting first before finally becoming silent.
Giggles and wild laughter. So much laughter. It was straight out of a kinky comedy. He accidentally pushed the button again.
Clack-bzz-clack-bzz, all over again.
Finally, the damn thing was turned off, and he could return to the business of fucking me even more senseless than before. I covered my face and continued giggling. The sexy moment was gone. He fucked me for a few minutes longer before giving up completely.
"I'm pretty sure that wasn't even English."
I shrieked laughter, tears streaming down my face again. I cleared my throat. A snort escaped. He fell over my body, shaking with laughter.
Another snort. Damn it!
"I'm trying to say 'I'm sorry' that we didn't finish, damn it! Please stop laughing at me!"
We fell into uncontrollable giggles. Later, when we'd calmed down enough to breathe, and he'd tucked me into bed, I began to groan.
"My body hurts. Oh my god, I hurt so bad, Daddy."
He was worried. Had he hurt me? Been too rough?
"Daddy, I got a full body workout earlier. I'm pretty sure twisting on the bed like that used some muscles." He chuckled one last time before we drifted off to sleep.
Welcome to Masturbation Monday! To me the best thing in life is laughter and orgasms. Last night was a particularly silly night, and I can't even remember all the details! Okay, y'all, go on and find out what other smutty goodness is being shared today. I'm sure some of it will be less silly and more erotic.