I have no idea how long it's been since I participated in Boobday - the best part of any Friday, according to anyone who likes boobs. And until recently, if asked why I hadn't bared it all, I'd probably would have muttered something about being busy all while refusing to meet your eyes.
Yeah, I've been busy. Lots of stuff going on over here.
Friday's are also the day I release podcast episodes, and I'm not a fan of doubling up - I don't want to inundate people with email.
Those are the reasons I told myself. But if I'm honest, it's more than that.
It's gaining 30 pounds over two years.
It's feeling like a busted can of biscuits more often than not.
It's not loving what I see when I look in the mirror.
Oh, don't get me wrong. John Brownstone loves every biscuity inch of my body and makes me feel like a wanton, sexy woman with just one look, one rake of his fingernail, one stroke of his palm across my ass. For him, I'm a brazen slut who's curves incite blind lust.
I like that about him.
And no, I don't worry that other's will think this body is too soft, too round, too fat. What other people think of me isn't my problem.
But, I haven't been turned on by my own body in a long time.
I'm hungry to return to something that once was. Are you?