Sex Writing

The Business of Writing About Sex: April 2015

The Business of Writing About Sex

via Bobbie Morgan, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind (You should go visit her site…rawr!)

The month of April was insane, y’all, and not because I wrote a million words or sold a million books (I wish!). No, I had to put my writing to the side for a while so John Brownstone and I could get through our home purchase, remodel, and move. Today, as I’m writing this, it’s the first time I’ve been able to spend more than about 20 minutes at a time on my blog. It feels good.

The next month will be almost as crazy as I become a road warrior to get the boys to and from school from a much further distance. Instead of 10 minutes drives, it’s 45 minute drives. And each boy has a different school schedule (ugh!). Thankfully, once summer hits, everything changes. But for the next month, I’ll get about three hours a day to work uninterrupted so I don’t see any book writing getting done. When June hits, everyone better watch out. I’ll be a lean, mean, yoga-pant-wearing, writing machine!

So for having an insane month with little to no writing, how was April? Not too bad, actually.

Sex Blogging

A Sexual Being

  • 19 posts – a slow month for me
  • 9 new subscribers

Top Post of February: 10 Signs He’s an Asshole, Not a Dominant

Masturbation Monday

  • 8,395 views (highest month of views so far!)
  • 4 new subscribers
  • 48 posts shared by various bloggers

Sex Bloggers Unite Triberr Group

  • 17 members
  • social reach of 27,137

If you write about sex, are willing to share other people’s posts, and want to grow your readership, click on the link above to join the tribe. I swear by Triberr for helping my page views grow

Erotic Book Sales

Paid – this includes The Adventures of Sir and BabygirlSir and Babygirl: Bound by Love, and on Amazon only: Madame Gretchen, The Visitor and The Big Game

  • Amazon – 66 (best month!)
  • Barnes & Noble – 2
  • iBooks – 2
  • All Romance – 2
  • Kindle Unlimited Borrows (Madame Gretchen only) – 3

Free – the only free titles I have are The Visitor and The Big Game

  • Smashwords – 79
  • iBooks – 9
  • Barnes & Noble – 18
  • All Romance – 163

Normally I’m pretty fanatical about checking my sales stats each day, and it didn’t happen that way in April. Imagine my surprise when I’d peek in after two or three days and find a day with seven book purchases (pretty good for someone who wasn’t even talking about her books). I don’t know my rank on Amazon (my books are usually in the 100,000 range) and while I know that matters for future sales, I’m not that worried about it. I just want to get more books in my catalog and see if my monthly revenue can do more than buy a tank of gas (although that’s not exactly shabby, ya know?).

My Two Cents

I only have one piece of advice for writers and bloggers this month. If writing is in your blood, if it fuels your soul, if it gives you peace, keep writing. Yeah, it’s hard when it seems everyone else around you is doing something you want to be doing. Sure, it’s tough seeing other writers get published or a byline somewhere. But all you can do is your thing, and if you keep writing the things that matter to you, whether it’s smokin’ hawt erotica or advice or whatever, eventually you’ll find yourself where you wanted to be all along, or even better, where you never imagined you could be.

More than a year ago, I discovered I loved their site from the moment I found it. I added myself to their sex bloggers list, and at the end of 2014, they added me to the official Top 100 list (#73). I knew I wanted to write for them, so last year, I pitched several topic ideas. It took a few months, but they liked three of the five I pitched and asked me to write them. Since then I’ve worked on two other articles, and a much bigger project that is still in editing (at the time of writing this post).

I Was Flogged in a BDSM Dungeon – I wrote this for Kinkly, and they included it on the Erotic Scribes website. Yes, it’s a true story. Yes, it’s the full story of what happened the first night Daddy and I went to one of our local dungeons. Rawr.

And now I’m a writer for Kinkly.

Every time I see someone write the article I think I could have written or for a site I didn’t know existed, I go check it out. Sometimes it gets added to my list of places to pitch to and sometimes it doesn’t. But if you want to be in places you see others, especially if you think you can do just as good a job, you have to keep writing. Don’t give up. Don’t let what other people are doing make you feel bad about your own writing. Look to your own audience, those people who show up with each post or each book and give you support. You don’t need a million people to think you’re great, even if that’s what you want. You only need a few who believe in you.

The more you write, the better you get. Write even when you think it’s crap. Write even when you’re not sure your audience will like it. If you consider writing a part of you, don’t stop just because you’re not where you want to be yet. I remind myself all the time that when I look at someone’s success, usually (with very few exceptions), I’m seeing the culmination of years of effort. Those people wrote consistently for a long time, honing their craft, message, and viewpoint, before getting published or discovered or going (seemingly) viral.

It doesn’t happen overnight and it rarely happens because of one really good story. It takes effort and dedication. Don’t let your insecurities hold you down. Be Dory or be the little engine that could, but either way, just keep writing.

Nothing worth having comes without some effort.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • I got lost as soon as you mentioned yoga pants. shew got me all excited…lol
    Good luck and one thing I found when I used to drive a lot was it helped having a recording device if I had any interesting ideas. That way they are save and not lost at the next red light or crazy driver.
    Your doing great hun and an inspiration to me. Keep it up

    • Awww, thanks! And /giggles for yoga pants!

      I’ve been taking a ton of notes. Since I often have a child with me, I don’t record them, but I have definitely done that before.

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