There was once a chance I didn’t take, and I regret it every fuckin’ day o’ my life. She was beautiful, and she wanted me. But I was too damn chicken shit, y’all. That’s me, Chicken Shit Leroy. Fuck, a beautiful woman comes on to me, and I let her slip outta my goddamned fingers.
Y’all sit on down and let ole Leroy tell ya all about it.
Let’s see. It was nigh on 20 years ago or so. I was 19 and stupid. Just got off an oil rig and had too much damn money in my pocket. Sittin’ in a bar that didn’t ask for no ID, nursin’ a beer, feelin’ like a man. You know, a man’s man. I’d just spent six weeks on a goddamned rig, riskin’ life and limb for a shit-ton o’ money. I knew I was somebody, and I was gonna find me a woman and fuck the shit outta her!
Then she walked in. Felt like the air lef’ my whole damn body. She had tits the size of ripe melons and a round ole ass with an itty bitty waist. I wanted to bury my face in her titties and my cock in her pussy. I wanted her bad, ya know?
She looked around the room, appraisin’ shit, like she fuckin’ owned the fuckin’ place. Hell, mebbe she did, I don’t know. In behind her walks a big muthafucka. He was fuckin’ huge! His arms were as big around as my thighs. His hands were as big as my goddamned head. And he looked mean as fuck. The type of fucker you don’t cross, ya get my meanin’?
He looks around the place, like he’s casin’ it or somethin’. He barely notices me. I don’ blame him. I was skinny as fuck, face full of zits, and I looked like I’d just done got in from the fuckin’ oil rig. Guess he weren’t worried about me bein’ no competition ’cause ‘fore I know it, he’s done walked her over to the bar and sat her down next to me!
I could barely goddamned breathe with her bein’ that close. I could smell her perfume – some flowery shit. Her hair was long, ’bout down to her ass – an ass I’d have given my eye-teeth to grab. He’s standin’ there, smirkin’ at me, like he knows I won’t be no trouble. I heard him order her some fruity drink shit. Then he said – and I’ll nevah fo’get this – he said, “Now don’t be gettin’ into any trouble while I’m gone.”
She smiled and purred at him, all sweet-like. She was battin’ those long ole eyelashes at him, and I got a feelin’ climbin’ up my spine. This bitch is gonna play this fucker for a fool!
I barely heard the door shut behind him. My whole wide world narrowed down, ya know? All I could see was this beautiful girl with big titties sittin’ next to me. I thought I could smell her pussy – she was oozin’ sex. Fuck, I’s horny as shit!
A few minutes of sittin’ there, tryin’ to pretend I didn’t notice every fuckin’ inch of her, she finally leans over to me.
“You’re kinda cute, ya know?”
I just looked at her. I think I blinked like a fuckin’ owl. Me? Cute? This bitch was blind or crazy, but I didn’t care none.
“Yeah? You, too, honey.” I couldn’t think o’ nothin’ else to say. I was mes-muh-rized, ya know?
“He won’t be back for a while. You know a place we can go? I think I’d like to fuck you.”
What…the…fuck? I know I just fuckin’ stared at this girl like she was crazy. She fuckin’ had to be, ya know. That dude didn’t look like he fuckin’ played!
“Well, baby, I’d love to bury my cock in yo’ pussy. But what about the lug that walked you up in here?”
She laughed. Fuckin’ giggled. “If you’re fast enough and sneaky enough, he’ll never know. And if he finds out, I’ll tell him it was all my fault. Promise!” And then she fuckin’ laughed again.
I looked at her like she was sho’ enough crazy. “You can tell that muthafucka anything you wan’ but it’s still my ass he’s gonna fuckin’ kill!”
She shrugged at me like she wouldn’t worried ’bout a thing. I just shook my head at her, lookin’ at her sidewise from the corners of my eyes. “Lemme think about it.”
“Well, ok, but he won’t be gone forever.” She leaned over to me, and I could see straight down her shirt. Skin so soft, I knew it’d be sinful to touch. The smell of perfume and sex hit me full in the face. This bitch was ready to fuck.
I thought about it. How would I get out if he did show up for her? Could I outrun his big ass? Would he jes’ beat the shit outta me and let me live? But this bitch wants me. She wants to fuck me. Goddamn, she smells so fuckin’ good. I bet she tastes good too. Maybe I could be quick ‘nough and the bastard’d never find out.
Just as I turned to tell her to get her shit and let’s go, who the fuck walks in but big ole dude. Dammit.
And that’s why I’m Chicken Shit Leroy and fucking stupid. I bet that bitch would have been the best fuck o’ my life.
Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week the prompt was the start the story with “There was once a chance I didn’t take…” I almost didn’t write anything, but then a voice got stuck in my head, and I had to write him. I feel a little sorry for him, but it was probably a smart move.
is this kind of sexual fantasy?
More like flash fiction – kind of.
Loved this and Leroy may disagree but I think he did get lucky that night.
I think so, too. Poor Leroy…
This is fun and funny! Great write and yes, I think Leroy was lucky that night 😉
Thank you! And I agree! 🙂
Poor Leroy, it probably worked out for the best for him though!
I think so, too! Maybe one day he’ll get lucky. 🙂
That voice … I was right there! Beautifully written,
Oh cool! Thank you! 🙂
Love the dialect and tone on this! Nicely done.
Thank you! 🙂
Oh, I’m just getting around to reading this… 3 days late 🙁 Excellent. I can just picture poor ole’ Leroy on his barstool, pocket full of cash. He did kind of get lucky that night, poor guy.
Yes he did…he’s never gonna see it that way, though. Poor thing.
Loved his voice. It really rang true!
Thank you! I had fun writing him. 🙂