“Here. Hold this.” He handed me one end of the rope while he walked around me with the other end.
I looked down at the rope in my hand, stupefied. Daddy continued to form the rope harness around my body, pulling here, tugging rope. The wand, already securely in place, lay cold and silent against my mound. Even so, my cunt began to throb in anticipation.
Holy shit, I’m helping him torture me.
There are moments of analytic clarity that dawn on me at the weirdest times. I trust Daddy so much that I hold my arms out while he trusses me up. And I help him strap torture device to my clit. Consent is consent is consent. But, in Dominance and submission, consent goes beyond simply acquiescing to mutual desires. This is more than simply saying, “Yes, you can fuck me rough and dirty. Yes, I’ll do what you want.”
I’m a willing participant in everything we do. Every so often, I make suggestions of my own. And sometimes, I’m his assistant.
“Daddy? Is this supposed to be uneven?” I pointed to the ropes across my abdomen, one side higher than the other. He adjusted the rope until they looked right.
“Thanks, babygirl.” A quick kiss on the cheek, a pat on the ass, and he continued wrapping the rope around my body.
I trembled in anticipation, knowing he planned much more than simply practicing his rope skills. He wanted to play with the new toy. I wanted him to play with the new toy, but I also understood that pain would come with the pleasure. It was this understanding that gave me the most pause.
I looked at Daddy in astonishment. “Holy shit. I’m fucking aiding and abetting in my own torture, aren’t I, Daddy?”
He chuckled. “Yes, babygirl, you certainly are.”
And that ladies and gentlemen, is one of the biggest mindfucks of D/s. This isn’t just about wanting a Dominant to take control and make me do things I’m afraid to do on my own (although there is that). This isn’t just about wanting to be fucked and used and made to cry (that’s good, too, though). This isn’t just about toys, wands, gags, rope, and the like (so much fun!).
This is consent on another level. I am participating in my own undoing. And I love every fucking moment of it.
How perfect..what a realization to come to, right in the middle of a scene. Wow. 🙂
Funny thing is we repeated scenes like this one all week. Each time, I just laughed to myself. I really AM a masochist! 😉
LOL, sometimes my Sir will have me fetch a toy or implement for him in the middle of a scene ( ohhhh and bring it back in my mouth, on all fours…. love that…) At the time I’m just responding to his commands, and I’m kind of a zombie, but afterwards, the next day, I’m like ” who in their right mind would willingly go and fetch something they’d be hit or whipped with”? Ya, me. Great post.
There have been times before we scene that I have sent her to the room ahead of me and I tell her explicitly what to take out have have on the bed laid out neatly.
She is then to stand there and wait for me.
It is all about anticipation.
Yes, Southern Sir, my Sir will do the same 🙂 I will lay things out for him on our bed in a fan shape, or arrange them on the dresser. Unless he tells me otherwise, I present for him on the bed- saves my aging knees. Sometimes though I don’t know WHAT he is going to be using and I won’t know until the next day when I am cleaning up.” Hmmm so THAT’s what that was…”
It’s all about the antici….pation. 😉
Exactly. We would. 🙂
Oh Kayla, I am so with you on your revelation…. It’s what makes it our kink! But oh how I do love the tremble of my body in anticipation of the sweet torture that Sir has in store, and I too do what ever he asks in good conscience knowing of my pending undoing! It’s the sweetest pleasure ever!
Sometimes, it’s the preparation of the scene that sends me to subspace. The last time, I sank right into it as he tied my arms and legs to the bed – he’d barely touched me at that point. The anticipation can (sometimes) be the best part. 🙂
Since He, my Sir, lives 600 miles away I have no choice but to aid and abet. All he has to say is, “Are you ready, pet?”
LOL! I know that very well, too. When he goes back home and we play over the phone, I have no choice but to work hard to set his ideas into motion.
It is almost elementary, you as a masochist knows that once on the other side of that comes the sweet pain you so richly desire and crave.
Not to mention once I had that harness secured in place I had to help you to the bed as just form the ropes wrapped around you hugging and the slight pressure of the wand against your bits you were already well into sub space.
I find I really enjoy rope – because of that hugging sensation. I like the pressure. And I love the marks – especially after I struggle against all the pleasurable pain. 🙂
Interesting how that works. Trusting someone enough that you’re willing to help them hurt you. But you know it’s going to be so good.
Oh yes, it’s always sooooooooooo good. 😉