Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week’s prompt, confessions, asks a few questions. I’m not feeling creative so I’m just going to answer them.
If we’re going with the formal dictionary definition, a confession is an ‘admission or acknowledgment that one has done something that one is ashamed or embarrassed about’. Is that true, do you think? Are all confessions rooted in feelings of bashfulness? Humiliation?
I think the feelings of shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and/or bashfulness that come with confession are sometimes creations of our own mind. I think of the person who confessed to someone they care about that they were sexually abused or raped. I think of the person who has never felt free with their own sexuality and is terrified to confess their erotic fantasies to someone else. Yes, the truth is that someone may hear our confession and reject us, but not everyone. I think that it takes a certain amount of bravery and trust to confess anything to another person because of how we feel about our “secret.”
Do you love to confess and confide your innermost thoughts and feelings in someone you trust? Or are your hidden fantasies and desires something they must make a concerted effort to pull from you – to tease out?
Apparently, I don’t mind confiding some of my innermost thoughts – I have a blog, don’t I? But the one on one, eyeball to eyeball confession is much harder. And yes, it must be pulled out of me. I need to feel safe in order to speak my innermost thoughts and fantasies. Once I feel safe, talking about what’s on my mind becomes a little easier, barely. There’s still the fear of rejection, and it’s not something I’ve ever overcome completely.
What, if you are able to share, has been the hardest thing you’ve ever had to confess to someone? And what is the most erotic thing that someone has confessed to you?
The hardest confession I’ve ever made was when I told my ex-husband that I wanted a divorce. I’d lived with the knowledge for a while, but I was terrified to tell him. I didn’t want to hurt him, not truly. And I couldn’t imagine what his reaction would be. Like most confessions, it was the right thing for me to do, but it was still the hardest.
The most erotic thing that I’ve been told was something I never considered a turn-on until I heard it – a man I know confessed to me that he was turned on by the idea of an erotic massage by another man. I get all shivery and squirmy just thinking about it.