Hooray for Saturday! The day where I sleep in (as much as my boys will let me) and I spend the day blogging about dominance and submission in an effort to make the lifestyle less scary and more real. I have a feeling what I’m about to describe won’t do that.
The longer I’m with my Daddy, the more I want to submit. Of course, distance prevents a lot of this, but I’ve learned through past experiences that dominance and submission (D/s) can be achieved over the phone, via text, and through email. I also find that I want more discipline, more dominance.
Daddy worries that he may not be Dominant enough for me. I don’t worry about that. I know he is. I’ve kept him at arms length for so long that until I let him know otherwise, he will only go so far. In some ways, we’ve come a long way since the beginning. I only orgasm with permission. He watches what I eat and how often I exercise. He helps me keep a schedule on the weekends so I can actually accomplish everything I want to. He picks out my panties every day. I’m not a good enough writer to explain why I want and need this so much, but the more he controls certain aspects of my life, the closer I feel to him.
Proving I’m never completely satisfied, I still want more. I don’t mean to be, but sometimes I’m flippant, sassy, and almost disrespectful. I feel bad afterwards. He doesn’t say anything, but I want him to. I want to be reminded of who I belong to. I want to hear the sharpness of his voice, his Dom voice. Sometimes, even though I don’t understand how I feel, I want to be brought low, to be reminded that I’m not in charge.
Without completely understanding why, I crave discipline – his discipline.