Torturing Myself

Today was a good day, better than yesterday.

He loves me, He wants the best for me, He wants me to be the best I can be. But He is also Sir, and we are nothing without D/s in our relationship. Until I can show that I’m making true, lasting positive changes, I will not receive permission to cum.

Talk about incentive.

Tonight, I’ve tortured myself.  With this and this and holy shit, thisThat last one had me panting.

I’m hot, I’m wet, I’m in agony.

Then, there was this and this and oh God, this.

No, I don’t know why I torture myself, either. It’s not at all what I meant to accomplish tonight.

I’m clearheaded and focused. I’m content and in the moment. But damn, my pussy aches right now.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


    • I hope I accomplish my goal sooner rather than later…He will be here with me at the end of the month, and I couldn’t bear it if I couldn’t cum when He’s with me…

  • Orgasm denial is so terrible and so awesome all at once. I really think it’s a good learning tool, though. I’ve noticed I tend to behave (perhaps not the right word, but the best I could think of) once I discover I’m not going to be allowed to cum unless I’m a “good girl,” whatever being a good girl may entail for a person. While it is definitely torture, knowing you have to cherish every orgasm you’re allowed is well worth it and makes every orgasm that much better.

    • I agree completely…He has always been so generous with my orgasms that when He denies them, it doesn’t take long for me to start writhing in sweet agony…

    • I spent the entire day randomly sexting Him because I was so turned on…any other day when I know I *might* be allowed to cum, I’m fine…knowing it’s not an option, gets me hot and bothered – quickly…

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