For the past several days, real life knocked me around a little and my sex drive took a nose dive. Frankly, I didn't even open my laptop to check email for a few nights, let alone come to this space to write. Stressed out, worried, and a little frantic, I lost myself in the fantasy of a good book rather than dwell on what life handed me.
He did His best to distract and support me. I cum easiest with His voice in my ear. Truthfully, I cum easiest when His hand touches my body, but in the absence of that, His voice does very well. When He couldn't give me that, He allowed me the pleasure of my own body. He knew what I needed and wanted, even when I didn't. He talked to me as often as possible - either to comfort, distract, or simply to make me laugh a little.
And now, I am returning the favor - although not in the way I want. I want to be a comfort to Him. I want to be a pillar of strength on which He can lean. I want to be a shoulder and an ear. That isn't what He wants.
Since I can't do what I want to do - which as a submissive, is selfish of me when you think about it - I'm doing what I know He wants. As I write this, I lie naked in bed with my ass plugged by the second largest dildo I possess - training my ass for the day He fucks it.
Tonight, I started with the vibrating plug. The vibrations deep within my ass make me want to cum, but with no standing permission to do so, all I could do was grunt and moan into my pillow, the sounds emanating from me akin to a wild beast in heat. I foolishly thought I could write with the pulsing buried deep within my body. It was all I could do to read and comment.
When my ass stretched wide enough that the vibrating plug began to fall out, the time came for something larger. And here I sit, with a delightfully cold glass dildo stretching me further. It slid halfway in with little effort on my part. It feels like an extension of my body right now. If I thought it would stay in, I'd sleep with it plugging my not-so tight asshole.
I firmly believe that what I want to give Him in the way of support and comfort would be helpful. Such is the life of a submissive woman in love with a True Dominant. I want to please Him in whatever way I can, in whatever way He wants. The ability to fuck my ass the next time He sees me will give Him more pleasure than sympathetic murmurings in His ear during a time of stress and strife.
When He takes me, uses me, fucks me, abuses me, He will release more stress and tension than my soft words in His ear will do for Him. When He forces screams, pleas, moans, grunts from me, He will feel more pleasure than anything I can say to Him over the phone. When I kneel, crawl, beg, cry, He will feel the power exchange between us, and He will feel like Himself in ways that He cannot if I'm urging Him to talk about His feelings.
If this is what He wants from me, my submission as I prepare my ass for Him, then I gladly give it.