I wish this was going to be some kinky post about wanting to be so bad it hurts or something. Sorry to disappoint, but it’s not. Something that I should consider silly happened today and I took it hard.
The first gift my Sir ever gave me broke today. Not from neglect or lack of care, I think, I hope. Sir said it could have happened to Him, too. But He cautioned me specifically about it, telling me to take care of it. Under my watch, its broken. No, I don’t know if it can be repaired.
He admonished me for feeling too guilty. He wanted me to put it in perspective. It’s an inanimate object. In the grand scheme of things, it is small.
But to me, it’s not.
While I won’t question Him when He says He’s not disappointed in me, I still believe He’s disappointed. And I caused that – directly or indirectly holds no importance – the disappointment is there.
I almost wish He would punish me. At least then, once it’s done and over, we move on. I failed in shaking it off and putting my guilt to the side. Maybe this is the best possible punishment (however unintentional it may be). Maybe I should carry this around for a while – so that I’m more careful in the future.
But I’d almost prefer any other punishment than this.
And now that I’m feeling a bit better, I’m able to fully explain myself – so here you go, the rest of the story.