Note: Today’s post focuses on sex toys that cisgender men (men whose gender identity matches the sex that they were assigned at birth) may use. This does not mean that transgender men are not men (you are) or that people who have a penis but don’t identify as a man can’t or shouldn’t use these toys. Also, any sex toy can be used on any body regardless of gender or sexuality.
Some people believe male sex toys are meant to be used only when you’re completely — either when you’re bored or when you’re lonely. I like getting myself off with a bit of mechanical help from time to time for exactly those reasons. But that’s not the only way to enjoy a sex toy.
You’ve probably heard you can (and should!) bring your toys into the bedroom with your partner. And if you haven’t, consider this a little bonus — do it. Play together! Have fun and get each other off.
But what might not realize, and it’s past time someone mentioned it, is that you can kink up your sex life with any of your sex toys. Yep, even your pocket pussy, Fleshlight, or cheapest cock ring. And yes, even if that toy isn’t known for being “kinky.”
Part of what makes something kinky is the power one person has over another. How much control are you willing to give up in order to enjoy your sex toys in a new way? Both you and your partner have to consent, but if you do, there’s no limit to what you can do.
Start with any one of these ideas and then go wherever mutual desire, kink, and pleasure take you.
Let Your Partner Take Over
Some guys don’t realize that their favorite stroker, sleeve, or pocket pussy can be used during sex with a partner. Of course it can! It doesn’t have to be your dirty little secret. But if you want to make the moment kinky, let your partner control your toy. That’s right. Hand the power over your pleasure to someone else.
Show them how best to move it so that you’re comfortable and nothing gets bent in the wrong direction. (Remember: pain is only kinky if it’s consensual.) Now, let your partner find a rhythm and have fun. Of course you can and should let them know when it feels good or if you’d like something faster or slower. But if you’re trying out submission as a kink, let them do what they want as long as it feels good.
Does this mean they might tease you? Start out slow, speed up, wait until your back arches and you’re dying for more — and then stop? Of course it does. You won’t be able to predict what happens next, and that’s part of the fun.
Edge Yourself
Orgasm control is a kink for people who like to play with pleasure and power. Edged orgasms are part sadistic and part pure power. Something as basic as getting off is no longer straightforward and simple. You can do this with a partner (see above on how that might work) or you can do it to yourself. If you’re a bit of a masochist, you might love it!
Use your favorite pocket pussy or Fleshlight and pump, thrust, and stroke yourself right to the edge of an orgasm. Go as far as you can without tipping over into jizz and bliss. Now stop. That’s right. Stop completely. Don’t let yourself come. Take a deep breath, let your heartbeat calm down a bit. Feeling calm? Okay, start thrusting and stroking again.
You can do this over and over again until you’re covered in sweat and your muscles are locked in agonizing need. As soon as you can’t take it anymore, blow your load. You’ll be shocked at how intense it can be and, for some guys, how much ejaculate you produce when you finally come.
Force an Orgasm
What’s the opposite of edged orgasms? Forced orgasms. The trick to this is knowing exactly what stimulation gets you off. You’ll also need the ability to power through the line between pleasure and pain as the sensations reach an unbearable level.
You can do this with any strong vibrator but a great one designed with your penis in mind is the Pulse III from Hot Octopuss. The nice thing about this guybrator (their term, not mine) is that you don’t have to be hard when you get started. You might not even have to be patient, depending on how good it makes you feel. Turn it on and work up to the highest setting you can handle. If you want to take it to another level, add other stimulation like a cock ring or give yourself a prostate massage.
The whole point is to flood your senses with stimulation. The orgasm should feel like it’s out of your control. But yes, it should definitely feel good when you’re doing it. What you’re going for is an uncontrollable moment when the jizz is spewing from your cock, your body is clenched tight with pleasure, and you’re not sure whether you’ll ever be able to take a breath again.
Pro tip: If you use a vibrating prostate massage (with or without anything on your cock), you may be able to force multiple orgasms. You may not ejaculate again until your refractory period is over, but you’ll have all the other sensations of an orgasm.
Get Kinky Over Any Distance
In a long distance relationship? It sucks, and eventually your hand and a Skype sex session gets old. You want to feel like you’re right there with your partner. Hell, you want to actually be there with them. Using long distance sex toys can make it feel like they’re right there with you — and your penis. How kinky you get depends on the type of sex toys you use.
With the Onyx and Pearl from Kiiroo, speed can make all the difference. Slow down your motions and tease each other to draw out your pleasure or speed up and create the sensations of a fierce fucking.
Any sex toy that has a mobile app to control it can either put you in control or let you give it up. Wear the We-Vibe Verge cock ring or insert the Ditto anal plug, and let your partner use the app to take care of your pleasure. It’s not about what sensations you love or even the toy you use. All that matters is that you play with control, orgasms, and even kinky role play from wherever you are.
If you’re new to the idea of kink, don’t let it freak you out. Anything can be kinky and all of it should feel good to you (and your partner). If you’re not into it, don’t do it. The same goes for your partner. But if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like if someone else controlled your pleasure and your sex toy, this is your chance to find out.
This post sponsored by MensToysHub.com.
