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I try hard to never take anything or anyone for granted. Of course, I’m human, and it happens. When you’re dealing with people, the best course of action is to apologize and change your ways. If we’re talking about information and what other people might know (as I am in this post), taking a person’s knowledge for granted means it’s time to talk about the topic.
That’s a really long, convoluted explanation to say that I took it for granted that more people understood the concept of aftercare (bad, Kayla!). It took a message from a Loving BDSM podcast listener to realize that, of course, not everyone knows what aftercare is. And, to make things both fascinating and frustrating, I took for granted my own personal definition of aftercare.
For me, aftercare is the thing John Brownstone does after we get really intense in our kinky fuckery. It was a set of steps he followed to take care of me until I was back to myself and able to function. After a conversation with Floss and Bakji Ben of Proud to Be Kinky, I realize that aftercare is also a way to check-in with each other and reconnect after any amount of kink or rough sex.
Soooo, yeah, we needed an episode on aftercare. We talk about the basics, but as with everything in BDSM, D/s, and kink, you have to find what works for you, and there is no one right answer.
From the show:
- What is aftercare?
- How do you do it?
- When should you offer aftercare?
- Do Doms need aftercare?
- Making aftercare work for you
Listen to the show:
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