For once, I take a backseat (kind of) and let John Brownstone lead this week’s discussion on the podcast. He received a question from a listener several weeks ago about the differences between a Daddy and a Sir, and this week, he (er, we) answered with an episode.
I thought, for about two seconds, that I was getting the week off. Then, a certain Daddy Dom had the same problem I had last week. Sure, he could do the episode without me, but it’s just more fun when we’re together.
I promise you, I really tried to sit back and listen more than I talked. I failed spectacularly, but I did try. Ultimately, while there may be very clear differences between a Daddy and a Sir, at least on paper, none of that matters. Maybe you’re a Daddy but you hate the title. Maybe you like being a nurturer, but you’re also a strict badass who prefers formality. Cool.
You can turn your D/s relationship into anything that works for you and call yourself whatever you want, even “Sir Schmoopsypants” – I may or may not have offered to take the submissive to lunch who is allowed to use that title with their Dominant.
Probably the funniest part of this week’s episode is what you didn’t hear:
“Daddy, how long do you think you’ll need for this week? We’ve run long lately.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’ll be quick. I don’t have much to say. It’s fairly simple.”
“Yay!!” (Happy dances and butt wiggles ensue.)
It’s about 50 minutes long, y’all. We tried. We really did.
Oh, and I found a free fix for the transcript, but I’ve got to get a better mic – or figure out a different way to record. So no transcript again this week, but I am working on it. Ugh!
From the show:
- Kayla announces her next book release: Kinky Love Notes is now available for pre-order and releases on April 14! Amazon ♥ Smashwords
- John Brownstone discusses the early beginnings of Dominance and submission: Victorian era, Old Guard, and Gorean.
- Old Guard is known for being hierarchical. Leather families may be what most people are familiar with. Old Guard stems from WWII era.
- Victorian is known for being formal and “proper.” High protocol events and dinners are based on this time frame.
- Gorean is based on The Gor series by John Normal, a science-fiction/fantasy series of novels published in the 1960s. Many Master/slave relationships are built around the Gorean principles.
- Some people may think Marquis de Sade and his writings were a precursor to D/s but de Sade is best known for sadism and masochism, which doesn’t have to be a part of D/s.
- The Daddy Dom is a gentler, more nurturing type of Dominant.
- The more “typical” Sir is often stricter than a Daddy.
- Both want their submissive to grow and achieve their goals and dreams. The methods these types of Dominants use may differ.
- It is possible to acknowledge a nurturing side of your Dominance without using the term “Daddy.”
- It is also possible to acknowledge a giggly, silly side of your submission without calling yourself “babygirl” or a “little.”
- Kayla recounts the first time she called John Brownstone “Daddy.”
- John Brownstone has a clear Daddy side and a clear Dominant side. Often, the two sides co-mingle.
- The decision of whether to be a Daddy or not is personal. There is no right answer.
- Ultimately, forget the labels and formulate the relationship that is right for you and your partner.
Listen to the show:
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I swear I sound like a silly fangirl every week. Does that stop me from commenting? pfffttt
You both do a great job explaining the Dd/bg lg dynamic. Whenever I run across someone with questions I always point them here.