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The Definition of a Daddy Dom

Ze or Zie
The Definition of a Daddy Dom

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I hesitate to define anything involving BDSM or Dominance and submission (D/s). Why? Because we all come at this with a unique perspective, our own desires and needs, and a million other factors that affect who we are and what we do.

That being said, I’m going to define Daddy Dom in terms of what I know to be true for the submissives in the room. For the record, I don’t know any Mommies or babyboys/little boys so I don’t know if this is true for them or not. Maybe someone can enlighten me.

Note: for the uninitiated out there, Daddy Doms don’t want a child. They aren’t pedophiles, and the submissives who identify as littles or babygirls aren’t trying to be children to suit someone’s dark fantasy. This is a power exchange dynamic as with any other part of D/s. I liken Daddy Dom and littles (DD/lg) to the gentler side of D/s. We are all fully functioning adults with perfectly normal sexual desires and appetites.

The Definition of a Daddy Dom

Daddy Doms are caring and nurturing. They want only the best for you.

Sometimes, they’re strict and stern. Usually when you screw up.

They might relent if you bat your eyelashes, pout a little, or otherwise look really cute and pitiful. But only if what you did wasn’t that bad. Break a standing rule or show disrespect, and all bets are off.

Daddies will definitely make rules. Some are sexy fun. Some are for your own health and well-being. Follow the rules. It only leads to good things. I promise.

Daddy Doms know the power of a good cuddle – for you. You might have to show them that cuddles are good for sad or stressed Daddies, too.

Daddies laugh and smile when you’re happy and to make you happy. Laughing and smiling during the kinky times is perfectly okay – and should be done as often as possible.

A kind, generous, loving (am I laying it on too thick?) Daddy will overlook moments of sassy-but-not-quite-bratty behavior. Unfortunately, they almost never ignore brattiness. Le sigh.

They have their own playful side. Sometimes you’ll bring it out in them, and sometimes they’ll use it to make you smile.

If you have a stuffed animal (aka stuffie), good for you! Daddies need stuffies, too. We are their stuffies.

They call you “Princess” and “babygirl” because you are. They call you their “slut” because you are. Bask in those words.

Daddies like spankings as much as you do. They’re not just giving them to you for you.

They hate punishments as much as you do. They’d rather you just did what you were supposed to do.

Daddy Doms are tenderhearted but not pushovers.

Never, ever forget, they are a Dominant first. They expect you to communicate with them. (By the way, you should expect the same from them.) They expect you to live up to your end of the D/s dynamic, whatever that looks like in your relationship. But they also want to play, laugh, and have fun. It’s not all strict protocol. It’s not all “Yes, Sirs” and kneeling (although that’s nice, too).

A sweet “Yes, Daddy!” will get you much further than pouting and dragging your feet. Because in the end, you’ll either do what you’re supposed to do or you’ll face the consequences. They don’t like it anymore than you do, I promise.

There are a million other things I could say about Daddy Doms, especially my own amazing Daddy, John Brownstone. But I think you get the idea. Being a Daddy or being his “little one” or “babygirl” isn’t about children. It’s a way to be vulnerable and still playful in the middle of what can be a really dark, erotic kinky thing like BDSM. It’s not for everyone, even in the world of D/s, and that’s okay.

Well, if you can’t guess, D is for Daddy Dom as we continue the Spanking A to Z challenge for June. Considering all the misconceptions about Daddy Doms, I figured we’d include this in Adult Sex Ed Month, too. Click the images below to see more posts from other bloggers!

The Definition of a Daddy Dom          The Definition of a Daddy Dom

Was this post meaningful and helpful? You might enjoy my website dedicated to BDSM and helping people have better D/s relationships – Loving BDSM – a blog and weekly podcast devoted to helping people find and enjoy healthier D/s relationships and kinky lives. Check it out at

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am an erotic author, sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, an opinionated marketer, and speaker. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


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