I don’t like surprises. I’m a planner, y’all. I have plans A through Z. Even though I know very little ever goes according to plan, I am comforted knowing I have one. Not using a plan doesn’t bother me. I just like to be prepared for anything.
I don’t do spontaneous well. I’m not good with surprises.
Sounds fun, huh?
Many years of my life were spent attempting to control my environment so that I could never be unpleasantly surprised. Entire hours could easily be spent imagining every possible scenario – no matter how implausible – all so I could figure out my own reaction and what I would do in any given situation.
I have routines in place so I know what should happen from moment to moment during the day.
I prefer having input on every activity or change of plans so I can help “guide” how things go – and be prepared for when it happens.
My mood can go into a complete tailspin with one unexpected change to my outlined plans for a day or week. (For the record, once I accept the change to my plans, I’m fine.)
Gosh, I sound like a barrel of fun, huh?
There is one exception to this bit of neurotic behavior.
Daddy. John Brownstone. Southern Sir. Whatever you call him, he is a calming influence in my life and finds ways of “forcing” me to relax, calm down, and expect the unexpected.
It is my trust in him that allows me to accept a “You’ll find out later, babygirl” or a “I’m not ready to tell you yet.”
He’s also the only person I don’t mind surprises from. And he’s even managed it a few times (hard to do with a person who’s always watching, always analyzing, always surmising, and always deducing from the facts at hand).
If there’s a relief in being a submissive, it’s the lack of control which creates a momentary silence and lack of worry.
Because that’s what the control and planning are meant to appease – my ability to worry about the what ifs, what nows, and what do I dos.
And only one person has that ability. For the rest of the world, I’m a planner, a worrier, and I seriously detest surprises.
Welcome to Wicked Wednesday. This week’s prompt is about the unexpected – which I hate.
You are handling surprises much better then you used to.
Seeing the look on your face when I do so is extremely rewarding.
I would imagine it takes a bit of effort to completely surprise me, but I admit that when YOU surprise me, I enjoy it. Surprises from the rest of the world? Not so much. /giggles
You mean like how I surprised you this morning? 😉
Oh, how I can relate!! I’m beginning to let go of expectations and the need to make a clear cut plan in other areas too, and the consequences have been very interesting.
Kay
Interesting is the right word. Even though I still plan and like control out in the vanilla world, now that I’m more comfortable letting go of expectations, I find that I’m much more relaxed in all situations – and that things have a way of working themselves out without my help – sometimes.
Oh, I relate! It is so good when someone else is allowed to take control and is able to handle me in that situation.
Velvet x
Exactly. SSir and I have had a few conversations about how I meltdown when my plans change…just give me a few minutes though, help me through it, and I’ll be fine – of course it took ME a while to figure that out, too, lol.
Up to “Gosh, I sound like a barrel of fun, huh?” I could have written this post. I hated surprises. I hated it when something I have not planned happened. If I had something in mind for my day, that was what was going to happen.
And then I got to know Master T.
He taught me to expect the unexpected. I am much more relaxed about unexpected things than I ever have been in my life before Him. And you know what? It’s great to be this relaxed. It’s just so… relaxing!
Great post!
Rebel xox
When I’m with SSir, I am much more relaxed. I’m not sure if it’s because I trust in him to help me handle the unexpected or if it’s because the lack of control means worry is a little pointless.
I’m still working on handling the unexpected as a general rule. He has noted a few times that I am much more relaxed and less intense than I was when we lived apart.
I think these Dominants may be good for us. 😉
I’m with You! I ALWAYS Plan for the Worst-Case Scenario! Things Seldom ,if Ever, Go as Planned! Great Writing!
Thanks, Fred. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. 🙂
I sometimes wish I could be organised enough to be a “planner” . . . well, probably only in normal work-nine-to-five mode. Because I often find spontaneous, unexpected, events are all the more enjoyable . . . and satisfying . . . and exciting, simply because they are unplanned.
Xxx – K
Ack! I just got stressed out…spontaneous and unexpected scare me. /giggles
That being said, I can admit that when I let myself just go with things (without the five plans, written in triplicate), I do enjoy myself. 🙂
I envy you that. I’m not quite so neurotic, but I definitely worry. I was ah I had someone to relax with.
It took a long time to get to this point. The worrier in me kept me from trusting him for a long time. It is an amazing feeling to relax, but the neuroses pop up from time to time.
Wow, I totally relate to this. I’m slightly OCD and definitely Type A, and I plan like nobody’s business. It’s always wonderful to have that someone who will allow you to relax, to not plan, to just enjoy. Thank you for sharing this!
It takes a load off when you can just relax – and it quiets the noise in my mind, a rare thing indeed.
Love this post!!!
🙂 Thank you!
Oh my God…. Do I understand this post!!! One of the hardest things about this move is the people who keep messing up MY PLANS!!!
I have told Daddy so many times about these wrenches that keep spoiling my perfectly laid plans…. and I DO NOT LIKE IT….
Seriously. Do they not realize how much I obsessed over every little detail and how it overlays with my NEXT plan???
🙂
He’s my calm to my storm too.
And I will say this…. Like you, I spend all my days planning for safety. But not living that way is much more freeing and fun. Even if it is so goddamn hard.
XOXO
I had the same problems during my move. If you’re anything like me (hmmm, and I think you might be, lol) give it a few months with Hunter, and it won’t matter quite as much. Oh, it still matters, but as long as I have Daddy, I’m pretty relaxed…well, mostly… 🙂
I know all about planning out scenarios.
I plan, I make endless lists, I try to get it all done, and I am a champion worrier. Coach is much better than I at taking it one day at a time and not losing sight of the big picture. I will get stuck on some detail, derail myself, then try to get out of it all by myself. Once I tell him it seems like I magically get unstuck. I really need to speak up more.
Yes you do. We all do. That’s why they lead…to help get us unstuck. 🙂