Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week’s prompt is “Communication” and how important it is to us and our thoughts on it. I don’t think anyone has time for all my thoughts on communication, but I will attempt to be concise.
It’s the most important thing in any relationship, kinky or vanilla. Without good communication, your relationship will fail. It will. Every relationship I’ve ever had where I felt I couldn’t or shouldn’t communicate, or I simply wouldn’t, failed.
I read blogs. I lurk on social media. I pay attention. You know which couples are having the most problems? The one’s who don’t communicate. To my D/s friends out there – how many times have I lectured you on the need for communication?? And how many times have I been right? When you talked to one another, you were able to work together to deal with the issues – or you learned that what you thought was some devastating thing wasn’t really that big of a deal.
Want to know how strongly I feel about the topic? When I had the opportunity to guest post for my glitter-girl, Cinnamon, I wrote nearly 900 words devoted to the subject.
Click here to read the post. Check out the comments. Do you see how many people responded that they needed to read this or that they agree completely? Yeah, because it’s the truth.
Ok, if you don’t feel like reading it, here’s the gist – if you don’t communicate, you might as well end your relationship now. Go ahead. Walk away. Better to be miserable now than cause yourselves a lot of misery over a long period of time because you can’t or won’t communicate.
Clear and consistent communication is the hallmark of any D/s relationship – whether you’ve been married for 20 years and you’re trying to save a failing marriage or you’re just looking for a play partner OR (like Daddy and myself), you know who and what you are and you’re looking for a D/s love match.
You have to talk to each other, and you HAVE to be completely, brutally honest, even when it’s difficult. Especially when it’s difficult.
Sadly, it’s not made a big issue in the vanilla world – but it should be. If the kink went away tomorrow (heaven forbid) for Daddy and myself, we would still communicate as much as we ever do.
Ok, I’m getting off my soapbox. If you really want to know how I feel about communication (especially for submissives), click the link and go check out Cinnamon’s blog.
Perfectly said miss Kayla! 🙂
😀 If you can’t tell, I have a strong opinion on the subject. /giggles
Brutally honest, nice
Thanks! I get so frustrated sometimes hearing the same thing from different people. I just want to shake them. Can’t do that (it’s probably illegal), so I’ll stand on my soapbox and spout off. LOL
Absolutely good advice! People so easily forget to communicate.
I think people in long-term relationships take it for granted and forget…and people in new relationships are scared. Everyone needs a reminder from time to time – even me. 🙂
Computer trouble. New computer! I still read ALL Your Blogs! Your Honesty is obvious in Everything You Write! It’s Very Refreshing! I read Your Guest Blog! Great Stuff! Thank You Very Much!
Thanks, Fred! Glad you’re back up and running.
Wonderfully put, both above . . . and at your Cinnamon post. And yes, you are right, communicating should be as important in both “vanilla” and in the more “experimental or alternative” lifestyles.
Xxx – K
Thank you! Regardless of flavor, all relationships benefit. 🙂
In my opinion one of the reasons so many vanilla relationships are unfulfilled and often fail is that they have never learned to communicating openly in a way that will allow them to truly know one another
I agree completely!
I agree communication is key. The one thing i’d add is in general I think people involved with D/s, swinging, or Ploy relationships in general communicate better than their vanilla peers and not just about sex.
That’s probably quite true. And, like any relationship, they tend to fail once communication becomes an issue.
Communication is not one of my better abilities, I am introverted to embarrassing levels, I hate emotional overspills, and spend a great deal of time over thinking when I should simply be talking.
However, atleast I know this, and it’s something Sir is aware of, and acts upon.
Great piece btw 🙂
What’s your take on a Dom who disappears for over a month with no word? 🙁
You are so right, communication is key. xxx
You want my gut reaction? Not a good Dom.
For me, D/s is part of a loving relationship and no one who loves you would do that.
I know that’s not how it is for everyone, but a Dominant is supposed to take responsibility for their submissive. I can’t imagine *any* good, decent Dom thinking that zero communication for any amount of time (let alone a full month) is a good thing.