Daddy is so sick, y’all. Sinus, headache, achy, slight fever, sleeping all the time kind of sick.
It started Tuesday, for both of us, but we powered through. Wednesday, I felt better, and he felt worse, but he managed to stay up and about. I had to work on Wednesday, and when I came home, he crashed. He slept on and off all night and in to today.
We were supposed to go to lunch today and have the big talk. I don’t know exactly what Daddy has to say, but I know that I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks – and days. Several times this week, I posed a question about our future, and his response has always been, “We’ll talk about that later this week.”
But there was no lunch today.
I cried for about an hour. All of it in self-pity. He leaves on Saturday. We haven’t had sex since Tuesday night. I don’t know when I’ll see him next after he leaves. We haven’t had our talk. He feels miserable and I don’t know what to do. Will we work out? Am I just dreaming? See how quickly I went down the rabbit hole?
For whatever reason, all morning, I waited for him to jump out of bed and tell me what was going to happen – he was going to sleep; we’d do lunch tomorrow; whatever. The man is barely coherent, but I was waiting for Daddy to treat me like babygirl. Jesus.
Part of the problem is that I don’t know how to be sick. I get strep and bronchitis and still go to work (true stories). When someone sleeps for days on end, I feel sort of useless and helpless. I don’t even know how to be properly sympathetic.
When I finally stopped crying, I made myself do a little bit of work on my business – I mean, that is part of the plan for the summer, and if I believe in the plan (which I do), I can’t let one self-pitying moment stop me from getting work done, right? By the time I was done, I felt better. And I realized I’d been an idiot.
I was sitting around waiting for him to be Daddy and although he’s always Daddy, he’s also a very sick man who needs to get better.
I pulled myself out of my funk, went upstairs, and demanded to know every symptom he had. I told him I had to run errands and get lunch and that when I came back, he was taking medicine and he had 24 hours to get better – I have to work a half-day tomorrow at the office and I’ll be home around 12:30 p.m. I might not get my lunch out, but I will get my conversation. He mumbled, nodded, and fell back asleep.
I bought DayQuil, NyQuil, sinus medicine, Vicks VapoRub, chicken soup, and Saltines. I gave him the medicine. I slathered the Vicks on his chest and back. I sat and watched him eat – he had seconds (that’s a good sign, right?). I told him that he had to take his medicine every four hours and get better, damn it!
He gave me the Dom Look. I told him that the ends justified the means, and if I had to be bossy to make him better, oh well.
He better watch out, because I’m taking charge over here.