Masturbation Monday

Orgasmic Reality #MasturbationMonday

“I think I’m gonna take my freebie tonight, Daddy.”

“Oh?” He sounded a little surprised, probably because I usually wait until Sunday night, and it was only Saturday.

“Yeah, I just feel the need.”

“Well, enjoy yourself, babygirl. I keep thinking about one of the pictures you posted on Tumblr. Mmmmmm…”

He described the picture of a man, fully dressed, fucking a bound and nude woman with a Hitachi wand pressed to her clit. Oh God, my pussy clenched just thinking about it. I squirmed in the bed, whining and whimpering. I’ve experienced the wand before, and it does amazing, terrifying, wet things to me. I want one, but Daddy and I aren’t exactly made of money, and opinions vary on whether a knock-off Hitachi is worth the money.

We ended our phone call, and I was left with the memories of a high-powered wand on my clit and the reality of my fingers. I haven’t been squirting or gushing lately, even when he guides my orgasm over the phone. Apparently, I need him here with me in order to create a tidal wave. My orgasms take longer to achieve without him, too.

I settled into the bed, pulling my panties down and letting them dangle from one ankle – no energy to even fully undress. I knew this would take a while, and I simply wanted to relax. The last time I took my freebie, I fell asleep stroking my clit, never even achieving a climax. This time, I hoped for an orgasm, and thanks to our conversation about Hitachi wands, I was primed.

I focused solely on my clit, not caring to insert my fingers into my cunt, G-spot be damned. There may be fewer wet orgasms, but my clit was still damned sensitive. I squeaked and whimpered as I touched my clit, which was already swollen. My labia, minor and major, were fat and swollen too. My finger swirled one way, then the other. I pressed my fingers into my mound while one fingertip focused on my clit.

The one nice thing about a freebie is that I can cum at will. I don’t have to hold back until I’m granted permission – which I love, don’t get me wrong. But it’s been a long time since I allowed an orgasm to hit me without stopping it or controlling it. As my finger steadily swirled and circled, I felt the tell-tale burning and throbbing. My clit became engorged, and the muscles in my pussy began to pulse.

Some habits die hard, and for a moment, I was transported back to the old days of not being able to orgasm. The sensations overwhelmed me, my body shuddered, and I shut down the impending orgasm. I gasped for breath, clutching the edge of my bed, the force of my almost-orgasm causing me to thrash around. I laid there for a few moments, shuddering and twitching.

I wanted the orgasm, and I wouldn’t let the power of those feelings stop me again. Determined, I found the sweet spot on my clit and began to circle again. It was right there, that painful throbbing that still scared me sometimes, right beneath the surface. I forced my own orgasm and refused to move my finger as my pussy opened and expanded and every muscle in my body tightened. I climaxed hard, my back arching up off the bed, toes curling, and the force of my orgasm making me see stars.

For several moments, my body shuddered and shivered in wave after wave of aftershocks. Relaxed, for the moment, I smiled as I licked the small amount of fluid from my finger, savoring the flavor and reveling in my own scent.

Unfortunately, the reality is that some orgasms aren’t that exciting and take more work than I like to admit. But an orgasm is an orgasm.

Back the conversation Daddy and I had about Hitachi wands…I joked that maybe I should set up a donation button on my site for help in paying for the Hitachi. I can’t stop thinking about doing it, even though asking for money from anyone makes me feel weird. So, as always, I defer to the opinion of everyone who follows me. If I promised pictures, videos, and lovely, squirty posts, should I throw up a donate button for that? Or is that just ridiculous?

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • I love your honest take on sexual changes. Sometimes, orgasms are hard work in the way an excellent home-cooked meal is hard work. I was reading a link on eLust about mature sex (50+) and how we adjust all of our lives to how sex and orgasms change for us. You express the nature of those changes very nicely.

  • It’s almost Christmas. Someone maybe inclined to give. It won’t hurt anything if you do.

    Ps: I scrolled through your tumblr. Some sexy stuff that made me realize it’s been weeks since I’ve played. Man…

  • Well done….happy for you for your freebie. And Sir and I will donate…. Lol! You really must get a wand… You know Christmas is coming, maybe you should make that the # 1 toy atop your list, then maybe Santa Daddy will know of it’s importance to place beneath your tree! Hugs friend…..

    • /giggles. If I opened up a package with a wand on Christmas morning, my mother would probably faint and my stepdad would choke on his coffee…but that might be worth it. 🙂

      I’m still considering the whole donation thing. Not so sure. Thank you, though!

  • Lovely post as always, fun to read and very well written. I hope your question about the poll wasn’t a rhetoric one, so here I go.
    I am not sure if adding a donation button with the promise of sharing very personal stuff is a good idea. You have no idea what the result will be after 6 months and will it be worth keeping up your promise for a lousy 50$? On the other hand you could collect a grand or two. There is also the possible problem of equality. Do I get to view the same content if I donate 50 cents compared to Mr. or Mss. X who chipped in a 100$? The risk of starting a discussion about this and trust me, over the Internet such a dispute almost always turns into bad vinegar.
    Asking for a donation would work if you link it to keeping up the blog, supporting your writing or whatever. It does not keep you from posting about the Hitachi of course 🙂

    • You bring up completely valid points, and definitely things I’d thought about.

      Something I hadn’t considered – would people donate to help me keep my blog up and running and the time it takes to do everything? I’m not sure about that, either.

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment, though. It means a lot. 🙂

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