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Tasks in Dominance and Submission

I hate to admit this, but I’m not always the good girl I want to be with my Daddy. Periodically, he gives me tasks, and I fail to do them. There was a time when I couldn’t imagine not completing a task assigned by my Dominant. The concept was completely foreign. With Daddy, it happens more often than I’d like to admit.

The failure (and yes, I consider it a failure) to do something I’ve been told to do makes me question my submissiveness. I wonder if I’m truly submissive or if there’s something wrong with me. That being said, I’ve learned that it’s a good thing that I question myself at times. While I’m completely comfortable as a submissive, and I feel like I’m “home” in a way now that I’ve realized my submissive nature, it’s never a good thing to follow anything blindly. We should question what we’re doing – even if questioning ourselves only reaffirms our beliefs.

Tasks as a Submissive

This week, I want to discuss tasks, since I have questioned myself over them. With regards to forgetting my tasks, by the time you read this, I will have been disciplined for my transgression. Based on the sadistic laugh Daddy gave me when he said my punishment would have to wait until I see him, I have a feeling he will enjoy it – at least on some level. For the record, I forgot to edge myself twice…and Daddy always makes sure the punishment fits the crime. /gulp

Not all Dominants assign tasks. At the very least, they don’t all call them tasks. My former Sir would send me random text messages to edge in the ladies room, come in the ladies room, pinch my nipple, write “Sir’s slut” on my inner thigh. They were spur of the moment activities, often when he sensed I needed to get out of my own head and re-focus on the world around me.

My Daddy absolutely assigns tasks. Sometimes they’re research tasks. He tells me to research an activity, a product, a whatever and then write about it for him. Sometimes they’re sexual. Edge three times during the day, edge in the shower, etc. Whatever the task, they’re always future-dated – I’m supposed to work them into my routine in some way.

Why He Assigns Tasks

I have a couple of theories on why he or any Dominant would assign tasks.

One theory is the power exchange, especially in a long distance relationship. By assigning tasks, he is reminding me of his Dominance over me. He controls some of my actions in a given day, and when I do as assigned, I’m reminded of his power and control.

Another theory is that it forces me to think about him. In any given work day, I’m pulled in about ten different directions (who isn’t, right?) so my mind is not often on my Daddy, our relationship, or my own submission. By forcing myself to stop my workday to attend to a task he’s given me, my mind is brought back to him. He becomes the focus of my world while I complete my task. Completing a task, even a small one, often centers me, and I tend to focus better on work once I’m done.

A final theory is the obvious sexual one. This only works with those tasks that are sexual in nature. I once spent nearly a week progressively edging myself more and more. The first day, I edged once; the second day, twice; the third day, three times – you get the point. I couldn’t come at all. By the time I saw him again, I think it was the fourth or fifth day, my entire body was on fire, and I was a needy, begging little submissive who desperately wanted to orgasm.

These are my observations as a submissive. If there are other reasons that Dominants assign tasks, I would love to hear them. I do know one thing, I hate the feeling of failure when I don’t complete an assigned task. I feel like I’ve let him down, like maybe he deserves someone better. He doesn’t allow me to feel that way for more than about half a second, but I do, and I can’t help it. If I ever doubt my submission because I forgot a task, the way I feel afterwards should be all the proof I need that I am definitely submissive.

Post updated: July 26, 2017

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About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • It is often a very effective technique for teachers and other people in authority to let their students and underlings know that the authority figure is “so disappointed” in them. I certainly understand why. It is the worst feeling in the world, especially for a submissive.

  • My Daddy gives me tasks, but he calls it homework. I love doing it for him. Like you, I research things for him, sometimes sexual sometimes not. No matter what time of day he tells me the topic, I cannot work on it until he tells me goodnight. We’re long distance.

    My homework is assigned for two reasons. 1. To relax me and help me sleep. Daddy knows I don’t sleep well. 2. He says he loves to read my emails when he gets to work. He gets coffee and me when he sits at his desk.

    If I am unable to finish the work, I better have a damn good reason. But my Daddy is fair and kind and understanding. He knows some topics have upset me in the past and I have trouble with it. Sometimes he says, if it upsets you, don’t look at it. That helps, it makes me want to try harder to please him.

    May I say, if for some reason you find yourself not completing your tasks, look at your relationship and see if there is something missing. I get rebellious with my Daddy when I feel I’m not getting enough attention in one form or another. Talk to yours and see what will help. I don’t think it’s a question if your submission, maybe its
    because of your submission. Ok?

    • I agree. Shortly after this post, Daddy and I did a lot of talking and communicating, and we worked it all out. Tasks are much easier now. Thank you for your comment!

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