In the past two weeks, I’ve heard twice that I’m pretty. I’ve had two very different reactions.
A week ago, I walked into my youngest’s daycare classroom, and a pretty little girl about 4 exclaimed, “Oh my gosh, you’re so pretty! I love your dress and your shoes, and you’re just so pretty!”
I was practically floating as I left. I couldn’t stop smiling, and I had to tell everyone I knew. It was such a spontaneous exclamation that I knew she genuinely meant what she said.
Today, at the same daycare, a little boy, probably 8 or 9, walked up to me and said, “Ma’am, you’re pretty.” I thanked him, and he responded politely. He then did an about-face, and walked away.
I looked down at my youngest in confusion. What was that all about? For a moment, I smiled a bit. And then I remembered how little boys were when I was a little girl – they can be pretty mean.
Mentally, I slumped. Was I the butt of a silly joke by a group of little boys? I suspect so.
That got me thinking (shocking, I know) about the two situations and how I reacted to them. The little girl was so enthusiastic, and I know how females (of all ages) can be sometimes. She meant it, and that meant something to me. Growing up, I was called ugly by boys so often that I believed it. I don’t believe I’m ugly now, but I don’t believe I’m beautiful. When any man or boy tells me I’m pretty, I’m immediately skeptical. From men, I think they just want to fuck me. From little boys, I think it’s a joke.
I never realized how loaded that one simple statement could be.
A) You are pretty.
B) You are attractive.
C) You are beautiful.
You have amazing eyes, a wonderful smile, your laughter is contagious, your skin is soft and clear, your hair is lush and full, your lips are plump and kissable. You are a doll!
More than that, better than that, and infinitely more valuable, you have one of the kindest, sweet, most generous hearts I have ever known.
You do, however, need to hear A, B, and C often and I’m glad that you gave me the chance to say them.
/tears…I’m speechless…thank you…(((((HUGS)))))
If I made you speechless, I consider that a job well done! 😉
Compliments are nice, especially when they are genuine and without expectation of something in return.
There is something powerful about that “one person” telling you he thinks you are beautiful or pretty or adorable or pleasing to him in some manner. It makes you feel beautiful and when you feel beautiful, it shines out of you. We all have moments of loving ourselves and doubting ourselves. I generally like the person who looks back at me in the mirror. But sometimes us girls need to hear it from the one we care about. Otherwise, how will we know?
Nice post. Thank you for sharing this.
I agree with you completely. With Lion, I felt beautiful all the time because I knew he believed I was beautiful. It was a special feeling.
Yep, everyone is beautiful to someone. We forget our worth, both internally and externally. If the words are said all of the time, they start to lose their meaning. But sometimes, from the right person, it can turn your world around just when you need it most.
PS From my experience, 8 year old boys don’t tell grown women they’re pretty, unless they mean it. I took a picture with my husband at this tourist thing in Seattle once–the Seattle underground. It was a walking tour through the city that Seattle used to be, before they rebuilt the city on top of it. At some point in the tour there was a worker there would would take your picture and at the end of the tour you had the option to buy it. I didn’t like the way I looked in my picture, although my husband looked hot as always. This eight year old boy walked up to me and asked me what was wrong. I told him I didn’t like my picture and he said, “Why, you look so pretty.”
Awww, that is SO sweet!
The same little boy told me today that my dress was very pretty.
He’s crushing. It is my experience that most kids don’t lie, at least not to me. Maybe it’s because I am honest to a fault and they can sense that, so they are honest with me. I get on with kids better than I do most adults.
One year for Halloween, I was a “witch”. I put on a long black skirt, then a full purple skirt over the top. I had on striped leg warmers and pink shoes. striped fingerless gloves, long black nails, dark purple lipstick, long glittery eye lashes, and a tiny witch hat. A little girl rang the doorbell and said “trick or treat”, when she looked at me, she got a huge smile and said “Oh wow, you are beautiful, next year I want to be you for Halloween!” It made my day.
The day I was married my little niece told me I looked like a movie star. How sweet is that? Children can be mean, but they can be incredibly honest and kind too.
There’s something about the spontaneity with which little kids, especially little girls, exclaim how pretty you are. It completely brightened my day.