I’m A Mother First

I’ve lamented about my love life. I’ve shared numerous orgasms and sexual fantasies. Hell, I’ve just bullshitted around a little, too.

Regardless of every bit of that, I am a mother first. Two beautiful little boys depend on me for everything they need – safety, security, love, you name it. I take that very seriously.

I watched, with growing horror, the news updates about Newtown, CT today. I cried. I worried. I desperately wanted to hold my children. I cannot imagine what the parents and families of all of the victims and even the survivors are going through right now.  Regardless of how you feel about the President, when the President cries, damn it, so do I.

I know every parent out there wanted to hold our children. I am fortunate enough to be able to do that tonight. I’m also fortunate enough that they have no clue what happened today – and could be their normal, rambunctious selves. They were yelled at, punished, sent to bed early, loved, hugged, kissed, and tucked in. And I know just how lucky I am. There are parents tonight who will never be able to do that for their babies again.

Normally, I want to understand what leads a person to commit a crime. Even though the reasons don’t excuse the behavior, it can explain a lot. In this case, I could care less. Twenty innocent children are gone along with six adults, who I can’t help but imagine died trying to protect those children.

Regardless of the sexy, thinking, deeply felt posts I’ve written thus far and will continue to write, I am a mother first and foremost. God help the motherfucker who ever attempts to hurt one of my children. And if, God forbid, they were to succeed? I guess I’ll see them in hell.

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!


  • I emailed a mate of mine this morning about this horrific shooting. He;s a retired taxi driver in the UK. I live 15 miles from that school. I laptop in front of my TV but not today all my local news and major cable channels only showed Newtown coverage. Today, I couldn’t bear to watch. At mid=morning the Gov. Malloy sent every state trooper on duty to the site and recalled all possible off-duty officers. Medical examiners are being imported to handle the autopsies.

    I hope this will start additional legislative action, local, state, and federal on gun control/ The trouble is the politicians are scared of the gun lobby.

    • It still makes me sick to my stomach. I won’t turn on any news or anything for fear that my boys will hear about it.

      I don’t know what the answer is to prevent things like this, but I can’t help but feel something has to be done.

  • A terrible day. I feel for you all.
    No matter what bullshit the NRA come out with, guns and unbalanced, unhappy young people do not mix.

    • You are absolutely right. I’m not sure of how the problem should be solved, though…the right to bear arms is one of our fundamental rights in the US…and the vast majority of gun owners are law-abiding citizens…but there has to be a solution…

      • As I recall, the Second Amendment was written because the young US did not have a large standing army and needed to defend itself against aggressors (like us British) and to allow personal protection at home. There is no suggestion that individuals can go and kill, indiscriminately or selectively, large numbers of school kids or college students or people passing by.
        How your politicians can get a handle on this one, with large vested interests and a huge number of guns already in circulation, I have no idea. But maybe it is time to, at least, try? Or maybe wait until a few dozen other tiny kids are massacred?

        • You’re right about our 2nd Amendment…and you’re also right about the amount of guns currently in circulation…I saw a statistic yesterday about 300 million guns, I think…

          My point is that it’s not just as easy as outlawing all guns or even making it harder to get a gun (even though I am ALL for gun control – it SHOULD be difficult to obtain a weapon that can kill a person)…because, unfortunately, a person who decides that they want to massacre a group of people will probably find a way…

          I don’t think there’s one easy solution…maybe it’s a lot of little things…maybe it’s tighter gun control, less semi-automatics in circulation, more education, less lobbying, LESS fear that gun control means that government is coming to “take your guns” – after a Democrat is elected President (Clinton or Obama), there is a run on gun sales as people convince themselves the Dems will take their guns – hasn’t happened yet…maybe it’s tighter security in schools (which is almost laughable because their budgets continue to be cut and some don’t even have a school nurse)…maybe it’s a million little things…I wish I knew the answer…I’m not that smart, though…

  • .This is horrible and beyond words. Please HUG your little people for me as I don’t have any. Hey: I would gladly go with you for those that hurt the little ones. A follower from Alabama….

  • Newtown,CT is going to have a news conference any minute now. There are parents, friends, etc. of the 20 precious souls who didn;t leave the school yesterday. plus the teachers and the perpetrator. In a town this small, everyone is affected somehow.
    I have grandchildren in two different states who I would love to hug them a lot more than I can.
    (big Hug)

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