Regardless of every bit of that, I am a mother first. Two beautiful little boys depend on me for everything they need - safety, security, love, you name it. I take that very seriously.
I watched, with growing horror, the news updates about Newtown, CT today. I cried. I worried. I desperately wanted to hold my children. I cannot imagine what the parents and families of all of the victims and even the survivors are going through right now. Regardless of how you feel about the President, when the President cries, damn it, so do I.
I know every parent out there wanted to hold our children. I am fortunate enough to be able to do that tonight. I'm also fortunate enough that they have no clue what happened today - and could be their normal, rambunctious selves. They were yelled at, punished, sent to bed early, loved, hugged, kissed, and tucked in. And I know just how lucky I am. There are parents tonight who will never be able to do that for their babies again.
Normally, I want to understand what leads a person to commit a crime. Even though the reasons don't excuse the behavior, it can explain a lot. In this case, I could care less. Twenty innocent children are gone along with six adults, who I can't help but imagine died trying to protect those children.
Regardless of the sexy, thinking, deeply felt posts I've written thus far and will continue to write, I am a mother first and foremost. God help the motherfucker who ever attempts to hurt one of my children. And if, God forbid, they were to succeed? I guess I'll see them in hell.