I’ve only been learning to masturbate for a few weeks, and my mind is already moving past my hand. I’m curious about toys, dildos, vibrators, you name it. But I’m also extremely shy and uncertain.
Anything realistic-looking would probably creep me out.
Anything brightly colored and odd-shaped would probably confuse me. I’m not the most technical or mechanical person, and the last thing I want to have to do is call the customer service line for a sex toy company and ask how the damn thing is supposed to work.
And how do I discreetly hide it from my children? Little boys who can find anything, anywhere, anytime – except their own shoes three feet away from them?
What if the sensations are too intense and I lose all ground that I’ve gained? I’m just now learning how to relax enough to come. What if I screw myself up?
I have a need that I can’t really describe and eventually, my clumsy ministrations aren’t going to be enough. I already make myself come 5-6 nights a week, sometimes multiple times. Could I be addicted? Oh God, I don’t want to be a masturbation-addict! That is not the conversation I want to have with the therapist that I will probably one day need.
Or I could just say fuck it all, and buy the some neon-hued monstrosity that only a female water buffalo could handle. Hmmm…something to consider…