When Vanilla Life Interferes With Your D/s Relationship #podcast

‘Tis the season…for everything to interfere with your kinky fun.

There’s the stress of holiday shopping, getting the house ready for family, or packing up to go visit family. Kids are whining or terrified of Santa Claus (or both, in my case). The to-do list is too damn long. No one is getting enough sleep.

And somehow, through it all, you’re supposed to be filled with the joy of the damn holiday spirit.

It’s no wonder that your kinky ways and your D/s power exchange might suffer in the middle of all of that. It happened to John Brownstone and myself before the holidays arrived but we thought now was a good time to revisit a topic we talked about last year – what to do when vanilla life interferes with your D/s.

Want the Cliffs Notes from the show?

Here you go: it’s normal. It happens to everyone. As soon as you realize you feel less submissive or Dominant than usual, say something.

But if you want to hear the whole show, that’s good, too.

From the show:

  • A special offer from Lyps: The Lyps Bag of Dicks – you can save 30% with my link!
  • BDSM and D/s are mostly mental. If you’re head’s not into, the kink will take a backseat.
  • When you recognize that it’s happened, say something.
  • Be prepared for kinky sex to feel off, too.
  • Make plans for playtime or a scene to help feel more “normal.”
  • It helps to be mindful of your role during the day – tasks, schedules, and routines help.
  • As a Dominant, you’ll want to be conscientiousness about helping your submissive feel their role more. Give them more to do. Ask for things you haven’t asked for in a while.
  • Having an errant thought of annoyance or not wanting to do your kinky thing is normal, and it’s not something to worry about unless it’s happening every time.
  • New relationship energy feels like it will last forever. Eventually that feeling ebbs and normalizes. This is when the these “disconnects” can occur.
  • All of this is normal. Getting back on track is the “work” of having a successful relationship.

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About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

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