The moment I kneel, I’m transported.
The shift is visceral. One moment, I’m thinking about setting alarms, cooking dinner, work, kids, the dog, you name it. The next, there is only my body bent before him, waiting.
I’ve learned over the years that there are times to be silly and my most babygirl self, and there are times when quiet submission is best. On my knees, at his feet, is a time for silent contemplation.
What will happen?
When will he begin?
Can I handle it?
Those are the first few thoughts. He leaves me to stew, knowing my mind paints a picture. It’s the easiest mindfuck he can do; it requires none of his energy. To me, time stands still, but it doesn’t take long. I will work myself into a place of quiet questioning before I slip into trusting supplication. We both know this. He only needs to wait a moment, and then…
Each touch is electric.
My senses are heightened.
My nerves tingle and jump.
Every kiss of air, every whisper of sound, every shift of his body, and I am on high alert.
Until then, I wait.
On my knees.
For him. For myself. For us.
Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week’s prompt was about kneeling. There is no one story, one moment, that encapsulates what kneeling means to us or looks like for us. He’s a creative, imaginative man, and I’m his willing victim. It’s always a little different, but always just what we need. No, the most important part, at least to me, are those moments before he begins, when I’m on my knees, waiting.
You paint such a lovely picture. I wish I could quiet my mind like that.
It takes a lot of practice. In the beginning I was either really fidgety and my mind was racing, or I was really still (like an animal caught in a trap) and my mind was racing.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t quiet my mind. The more I try the more it races.
It’s not your job (in the beginning) to quiet your mind. It’s your partner’s job. But that only works if you give yourself over to what’s about to happen – and that comes with trust, too. After a while, it becomes a learned response (at least in my experience). It may be different for others, but that’s how I got there.
The trust is there 100%. It better be after 32 years of marriage. I just think we need to learn more.
Beautiful post! You have perfectly described the feelings I have too when I have to get on my knees
Rebel xox
That second paragraph is particularly lovely.
Thank you.