I need to explore something, and it’s not a fully developed thought so be patient with this.
I’m not into the idea of Daddy/little girl relationships, for a few reasons, which I think may be stereotypes, but hear me out. I have no desire for age play. I have no desire to call someone Daddy. I have no desire to wear my hair in pigtails for any reason. And Hello Kitty just annoys me.
Ok, yes, for anyone who’s done the DD/lg thing, those are stereotypes, and I know that. But that’s my only real experience with the dynamic.
But…I have a little girl side that seems to ebb and flow.
When I stamp my foot, throw my temper tantrum, and heave big sobs, that’s my little girl.
When I giggle (which is different than my big, boisterous laugh) at something humorous, that’s my little girl.
When I feel warm inside at the idea of protection, care, and guidance, that’s my little girl.
When I blush, that’s her, too.
When I pout, that’s my little girl. Y’all, I’m not a pouter as a rule. I get mad. I don’t like what happens. I think life is unfair sometimes. But recently I had an experience where I was asked to do something I did not want to do, it took 10 minutes, and my lower lip jutted out the entire time. Add to the mix that it was an older man who put me in the situation, and I finally felt a couple of synapses connect – I have a complete little girl side to my personality.
The idealistic, hopeful side that I have been teased about over the years is my little girl, too. The part of me that thinks anything is possible if you believe enough and try hard enough is a little girl who wants a happy ending not just for me but for the world. No worries, the grown woman knows better.
How do I get in touch with that side in the D/s dynamic? I don’t know. I don’t know enough about that dynamic to say. Would I be open to it (one day, a long long long looooooong time from now)? I guess that depends. Would I have to call him Daddy, own Hello Kitty paraphernalia, and wear my hair in pigtails? If the answer is no, well, I guess my answer is maybe.
I would like to explore this side of myself. I like the idea of being someone’s “little” – at least in theory. But I still want pain in my pleasure. I still want to be forced to suck a cock. I still want the rougher side of things. I need the rougher side of things. I need to be used until I have nothing left to give. Oh, but the thought of being gathered up in protective arms, listening to soothing words, and being babied a bit – yeah, that gets me wet and tingly.
She keeps peeking out, wreaking a little havoc on my life (the emotional outbursts have felt like little girl moments in retrospect), and stirring something in me that I don’t understand. If someone knows a way to let her out in a D/s sense, let me know. Teach me. Share with me. Because if I don’t find an outlet for her or figure out how she fits in with my sexual desires, it’s going to get a lot worse before it ever gets better.
First I want to say that I love you for properly using “wreak” with “havoc” and not “wreck”. May the grammar gods bless you.
Second, Ping! I get all you said. I don’t want to call any man “Daddy” (I still call my father that) but I do love being protected and cherished like a little girl.
You know, I’m such a grammar geek that if there’s a phrase I want to use and I’m unsure of the proper way (and for whatever reason I can’t google it), I find another phrase…and I cringe whenever I see my own mistakes…lol
Oh good, it’s not just me…so when I figure out how it works, I’ll let you know? lol
I think every woman has that side. Like a part of who we are. I tend to ignore that part of myself because there is no outlet for it. No sense rousing her.
I’d be interested to see the thoughts of someone in a relationship of this manner’s thoughts. People have talked about it, but the daddy/little girl thing isn’t something I fully understand. Then again, I haven’t called anyone daddy in almost 20 years.
I’d be just as interested. Let’s learn together, CC. 🙂
Unfortunately, mine is roused and is a bit of a brat, so she won’t fade quietly into the background…/sigh 😉
Sir and I sort of….naturally explored this dynamic. Yes, I did call him Daddy, but it kind of happened naturally. And I find Hello Kitty and having a blankie an extremely annoying idea lol. It is more about being protected, nurtured, cared for.
I think so too…
But she’s such a strong part of my personality, I feel like I need to find a way to let her out to play – so maybe she’ll stop throwing temper tantrums when I get upset about something…
God, I’m starting to sound like I have multiple personalities…I promise I don’t!
Would I have to call him Daddy, own Hello Kitty paraphernalia, and wear my hair in pigtails?
I would do all of those things. Why not?
If it works for you, cool. It holds no appeal for me. 🙂
The Hello Kitty pj’s aren’t really high on my list, but I wouldn’t have a problem with someone asking me to wear them.
The “D” word is a straight up fetish for me. Can’t hold that one back.
To each his own. It’s good to know yourself and what you do and don’t want. I guess my point is there is a huge grey area of stuff that isn’t a fetish for me, but I wouldn’t mind doing it if he wanted to do those things.
I have to say, I can agree completely. In my previous relationship, I’m sure there were many things I did for him that weren’t really “my thing” but became that because he wanted it…it’s the D/s dynamic at work…
But looking at it clinically, without a D to love and worship and want to do things for, I’ll admit, it’s not my thing. And if it were some sort of requirement, I’d probably shy away from the relationship in the first place.
I agree 100%.
It’s such a balancing act between the “lg” and the thrill seeking masochist inside me. I can hardly manage it; how can I expect someone else to manage it for me?
That’s why you have the D – it’s for them to manage, isn’t it? That’s their job…
It seems like a lot to ask of one person.
Well, it’s not like they show up one day and just start doing it…there’s so much communication that goes on first…you learn them, they learn you…that way they know what needs to be managed, what the wants and desires are, what boundaries need to be pushed…being a Dom (a good one) is a HUGE responsibility…to me, being the sub is easy, once the trust is established…but maybe Doms feel the same way…
I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I am so sick and I am feeling a little surreal, but my lg side is fully in control at the moment. I want to lie on the floor curled up in a ball.
I can understand that feeling COMPLETELY…
Before I knew what D/s was, before I even considered the lg side of myself, I wrote a post about being sick and the only thing I wanted was someone to take care of me and baby me…
I’m sorry you’re sick…((hugs))
Thank you. I think I am going to lie down. Good night.
That last comment was about me, not you.
LOL, ok, I get it…
I am a “little” and yes I call my Sir Daddy. He allows my little side to come out whenever it is needed, but play time is play time. I am still forced to take His cock down my throat. I am still strung up and flogged and whipped and caned because that is what we love to do.
It is very possible to have both dynamics in a relationship. He helps guide me and teaches me but He also takes full care of me. I also know of others who have this type of dynamic that don’t use the term Daddy. There are other ways of addressing the dynamic, you just use what feels comfortable.
I am a self confessed brat to my Daddy at times and He will never hesitate to put me over His knee and spank me. This will even happen in public if I push too hard. But never EVER around kids.
This dynamic has nothing to do with incest, that is a horrible misconception. This is about a woman who embraces her little girl side and is fortunate enough to have a man in her life that allows it and nurtures it.
That’s the kind of thing I want to learn. It makes me feel better when I know that it’s possible to have both sides. Because when the day comes that I’m finally in a relationship again (a looooooooong time from now), I think that side of me will play a role in the dynamic…it’s just too strong…
It is wonderful having someone who allows that side to come out. I have been in other relationships, all D/s, that the Dom would get angry if my little side came out. They always stated that it wasn’t right. But then I met Him and He recognized that part of me and nurtured it. There are a lot of Daddy Doms out there, but not all of them are good. Just like in any other dynamic. And if that side is so strong, you can start nurturing it yourself. Let yourself be little. You don’t have to like Hello Kitty or anything like that. Just be comfortable and be yourself.
I think I’ll try to find a way. Sometimes I refer to my girlie side, and that’s probably her too. Maybe I need to allow myself to be girlie every so often – instead of the haggard, overworked, too tired mom…just for a little bit…lol
I am an overworked mom of 2 and am exhausted the majority of the time. Be a kid with your kids. And that girly side is a little. My little ranges from pre-teen of 12 to about 18 depending on the situation and the circumstances. It is nice to forget about being a grown up for a little while.
Overworked moms of the world unite! LOL
This sounds silly, but even thinking of getting my nails done (SO rare) is such a girl thing to me…yeah, I think mine isn’t REALLY young, but probably a teen, lol…but who knows? I’ve still got a lot to learn…
Warning-long post. Not sure this is going to help but I was smacked in the face with this last week and it was pointed out that we let our littles out in various ways sometimes without thinking about it.
I also think the little girl is part of every woman. But “Daddy” in a relationship sense is reserved for my Father. Period.
I don’t get ageplay, crayons, diapers, DD dynamics, or hello kitty either. I don’t want to use a “little girl” voice to ask permission for something and I sure don’t want to pretend mad and call my Daddy, a “mean ole Daddy”. I don’t want to feign being a bratty little girl either.
I don’t feel little when I am on the receiving end of the forced bj’s or rougher sex I like either. But, I will say that the Daddy/little girl is hot from a sexual taboo perspective. That is a fantasy “role” for me and a means to the end with some very hot sex being the goal; but it’s not a dynamic.
So, last week a sister submissive and I were goofing around with a Dominant when we were cleaning the house. Goofing around by deliberately saying “naughty” words in order to be “punished” by having to eat garlic stuffed olives (twist our arms we LOVE those suckers and there is always a jar in the house for us). It was hysterical for all of us as we giggled and squirmed as She who we Adore stuffed the olives in our mouths with a handful of our hair, pretending to be mad at us for spewing cunt and cock and other assorted naughty words. Seriously, I almost wet myself from laughing so hard.
Later, when we had our fill of silliness, my sister remarked on an earlier conversation about me not getting “littles”. She said we ought to do it more often. She’s right. I didn’t feel like a “little” but honestly, what about that scenario is not letting her out? Weren’t we just having a bit of fun? I didn’t even think about it until she bought it up.
Thinking on this I realized my being little is not the times when I am experiencing those “negative” emotions and need comfort. As a matter of fact it is more about the silliness. Because when I am upset or rattled, it feels different. I don’t feel “little” when I am angry or upset or hurt or frustrated or being stubborn. I feel out of control and consumed by my emotional state. I need more of a hard line, pull up your panties, here’s a solution approach even if I am being held and protected or bathed.
Perhaps all this takes a bit of a different twist in my brain because the interactions I am speaking of are non-sexual and they are all female to female energies. She who we Adore is probably closer to Mommy. And She considers herself a Mommy Dom. But we don’t call her Mommy like another friend calls her Dominant, Daddy.
I think perhaps starting with a bit of old fashioned little girl silliness might spur you forward.
I’m a dork who LOVES long posts (and long emails, I’m weird, I know)…so THANK YOU…
And I can absolutely see the silly side being a little…and yes, you’re right, I should start with the “basics”…anyone want to teach me how? I’ve never been one to indulge in little girl silliness…I’ve been called an old soul most of my life…lol…but for this, I’m willing to try something new.
🙂 Thank you for your words. They help…a LOT…
New follower, enjoying your blog. So interesting and learning so much. Plus you write and express yourself *really* well.
Oh wow! Thank you! And thanks for following and commenting. If you can’t tell I love getting into discussion on my posts. 🙂
I did notice and I think that is great, you are lucky to have such lovely people following you and taking an interest. I am going to enjoy 🙂
It could be possible to find a mix of the two with out doing the DD/lg thing since that is not you. Everyone has an inner child and it is good to let them out to play now and again.
I’m sure it is…when I’m ready…many many many years (teasing!) from now.
Out inner child is there and we are way to consumed most of the time with being an adult.
Get yourself a large bucket of fatty chalk and draw a picture up the steps to the house.
A picnic with him at a park with swings. Hide the water pistol.
Have him help you make the bed (if possible). Pillow fights are sure to ensue.
Hide the silly string under the couch cushions.
Sail that paper airplane into the study.
I’m sure I could use some silliness…it’s not something that comes naturally…good ideas!
pardon me if this comes out a jumbled mess.
I am an incest survivor so the daddy thing is hard for me in some respects. That being said…. I am a little girl, i love the security of having “Daddy” take care of me and protect me and love me. there is still a part of me that responds to the sexual side of it as well. It is the “training” aspect of it. To have him teach me gently how to please him and satisfy him.
I have no desire to be in that form of roll play. I do not want a Daddy. I do howerver love the idea of having a man in my life who is my protector and lover. I think it is really just an extension of the Dom/sub life. But in the more gentle loving aspect of it. The way one chooses to express it is between you and your partner. I do like being called HIS, OR HIS GIRL. I find it sexy as hell. So i hope you find a way to dive into your fantasies and have them meet. I will never wear hello kitty crap but i am more than happy to dress how ever he wishes.
I do not judge other peoples life styles and sexual choices but i do personally feel that those who are deep into the role play of Daddy/daughter have found there own safe way to deal with their emotions in reguard to sexual fantasies about under age sex. And while that is an issue for me, i am glad that they are filling these needs without causing harm to those most precious to us, our children.
I am humbled by your words. ((Hugs))
I feel similarly…while I may not understand or agree with some part of the lifestyle, I still respect others who enjoy it.
Reblogged this on Submissive Musings and commented:
Another wonderful post Kayla! I could identify with this so much. I too have difficulty with elements of the DD/lg dynamic, but find other aspects of it very appealing. The bunches, colouring books, story time & Hello Kitty, in fact even using the term “Daddy” are not for me. I think I would feel too silly & self conscious. However being taken care of so completely would be wonderful! The nurturing & protective aspect, having your Dom there to help develop & guide is very attractive to me. Loved reading someone else’s views on this, thank you.
Why thank you!
” I still want pain in my pleasure. I still want to be forced to suck a cock. I still want the rougher side of things. I need the rougher side of things. I need to be used until I have nothing left to give. Oh, but the thought of being gathered up in protective arms, listening to soothing words, and being babied a bit – yeah, that gets me wet and tingly.”
I couldn’t have explained it better… The Daddy thing is NOT for me… To some it’s their fantasy.. Their life. I put your quote in there because I believe all subs feel that way… It’s what makes us submissive.. Or at least a good part of it. You will find your way I’m sure…This is a journey in finding yourself… Ever changing… You’re growing. Best Wishes!
The Bedroom Submissive
Thank you, thank you! It is definitely a journey…
wow – This post sounds quite a bit like me! My relationship started off D/s…. gradually we realized we both had some of that DD/lg dynamic. For us… getting into the DD/lg = did NOT stop the D/s dynamic at all. You don’t have to have one or the other. I want both. I certainly understand why you would too. I was a Dom and I want a Daddy Dom and with him – I do get both. So know that you aren’t alone in that! Oh and while I do like wearing my hair in pigtails sometimes – I fucking hate Hello Kitty. 🙂
I’m starting to feel so much more comfortable with this side of me with comments like this…thank you!
We shall see what my future holds…but whoever he is may have to love my little side, too. 🙂
I have loved reading all of the comments in response to your post. You have really touched a nerve inside of us.
My friend C told me I wanted a Daddy Dom and I denied it vehemently. Looks like I might have to look at that again. However, I am never, I repeat *never* talking baby talk to my Dom.
Oh God, neither would I. But I think if it could be negotiated properly, I might be ok with a DD, too.
You can definitely have both, if you want it. It can be an easy transition from a sweet cuddle on my Daddy’s knee to choking on his cock, but it has to work for you both. I never would have thought I would want a Daddy until he whispered his deepest fantasy to me. But I love it. And it definitely doesn’t have any pedo aspect for us, it’s just the way we like to be with each other.