Anticipation

Anticipation can be painful or delicious and every so often, both.  Exactly four days from this moment, I will be a kneeling, naked submissive woman answering to a power, a call, an instinctual part of my soul that I have denied my entire life.

Many facets of the D/s lifestyle fit my personality, make sense to me, and make me content, but the most powerful for me is the need for clear communication.  Without it, things can go wrong in a second.  I’ve always craved in-depth communication from the men in my life.  I had to find my Sir to find the man who could and would talk to me consistently.  Strange how life works.

In the course of our conversations, we’ve talked a lot about our face-to-face meeting.  I know almost exactly what He plans for me, how He plans to use me.  I look forward to it in a way that is almost obscene.  I walk around with a wet, hot, dripping pussy almost every moment of the day.

I know that I will kneel before Him, naked, eyes down, waiting.  My cunt will throb and drip; my knees will shake.  I know He will demand that my mouth open for Him.  He will fuck my open, willing mouth, and I will take it and love it.  His cock will slide in and out of my mouth, pounding me, using me for His pleasure.  I know that when I look into His face, His eyes, and see his Dominance on full display, my pussy will quiver.

He will spank my ass until it’s red, bruised.  My knees knock and my heart pounds.  There is no fear of not enjoying it, only the fear of not being able to take all that He gives.  I will use the safeword if I must, but I hope that I don’t have to. I want the release of tears; I want the pain. Pain has always made me feel more alive.  He has told me that I will feel His hand, His paddle, and His flogger on my ass.  Every time I hear the words, my back arches and my ass pushes out as if saying, “Come take me now, Sir.”

I will be fucked until I’m sore.  I will be fisted.  My ass will be used as much as I can stand.  Alone for so long, my pussy longs to be filled and stretched.  I long to cum with the feel of something other than my own hand.  Gushing, dripping, oozing cum spreading across the bed – that is my goal.

I recognize that as a submissive, I am there for Sir’s pleasure.  The pleasure I gain from His satisfaction equals, and may outweigh, my own pleasure.  But I will know pleasure; I will know release; I will know freedom – all at the hands of my Sir. I will be Dominated in a way that I have never known.

And when I have been used, taken, broken down just enough, Sir will take care of me.  I know instinctively that He will be gentle, tender, and no longer my growly Sir, but my sweet lover – and I will still be his willing submissive.  I crave His use of me; I tremble at the thought of His gentle ministrations.

In four days, my life will change forever. I am anxiously waiting…