Disclaimer: Product received from Sohimi in exchange for an honest review.
Masturbation means so many different things. And I don’t just mean in a masturbation-means-different-things-to-different-people way.
I’ve discovered for myself that masturbation (and sexual pleasure and sex with a partner) changes over time. The desire for it and the focus on it ebbs and flows like every other part of life.
At one point in my life, masturbation was a way to explore my sexuality. I learned how my body responded to stimulation. I discovered what I needed to orgasm and to experience sexual pleasure.
Not that much later, it became a way to connect with John Brownstone when we couldn’t be together.
Masturbation has also been a tool of our power exchange. My willingness to give up the freedom to touch myself at will and ask permission for an orgasm was a strong sign of my submission to him.
Then masturbating (with sex toys) became part of my job — and he graciously gave up control of that part of my sexual life.
Then, sadly, it became a forgotten, neglected, not-at-all missed pastime as my libido tanked.
These days, though I hate to admit it, masturbation is a to-do list item. I tell myself it’s something I need to get done in the week. Typically that’s for a sex toy review (like the Sucking Clitoris Stimulator and Wand Massager from Sohimi). Without them, would I masturbate at all? I don’t actually know. But I continue to accept review products, primarily because I enjoy trying to sex toys. Especially when I think I’ll like it.
To-Do List Masturbation
Getting yourself off because you’ve made it a task item on a never-ending to-do list isn’t the most exciting thing. I treat it like too many items on my to-do list: I procrastinate by telling myself, “I can’t do it right now because it’s not the perfect moment to do it.” I meant to try Sohimi’s Wand Massager during our kid-free moments. Then my mental health got in the way, and I’m not someone who wants to masturbate while depression and anxiety fight for custody of me.
Then I set a deadline for this review (deadlines are 99.99 percent effective at stopping my procrastination). Which meant this had to get done.
So I did. And, as I do with nearly everything that hits my to-do list, I followed a process. This, of course, is my masturbation process — and one I use even when it’s not on my to-do list.
Close the door.
Towel on bed (just in case).
Pillows propped just so.
Fiddle with buttons.
Press vibrator to clit.
A part of me was disconnected from the moment. This was a task to be completed, not a sexy urge I followed for my own gratification. But something curious happened — and it tends to when a vibrator like the Sucking Clitoris Stimulator and Wand Massager is right for me. Despite my multi-tasking brain thinking about what I needed to do after this, the pleasure still found me. It came in small waves and ripples until the vibrations and sensations cascaded together in a muscle-clenching, muffled-screaming, eyes-squeezed-shut orgasm.
That was the moment I remembered I’d just put on make-up and would these nearly silent but oh-so-powerful orgasms ruin my newly done-up face?
And just like that, I was out of the moment. The pleasure was still there, but I’d repressed my own orgasms.
I really enjoyed Sohimi’s Wand Massager the first time I tried it but hadn’t had the chance to use it right after that moment. I also hated that I’d ruined my own pleasure by worrying about streaky mascara. So I decided to play again. This time, freshly showered, with no foundation, blush, or eyeliner in sight, I was ready for a mess. But…I really wanted to finish listening to a podcast episode. And I knew once I was done with it, I needed to get to work for the day.
Would I have to choose between masturbation and my podcast? (If you’re gasping in shock that it was even a choice, consider that further proof that masturbation is different for everyone.)
If I turned off the podcast, I’d regret it. But if I didn’t use the new vibrator right now, I’d regret that, too. It would feel like a perpetually unfinished task on my to-do list.
Why can’t I do both?
Of course, I can, but it took me a minute to get there.
Not gonna lie…I don’t really know what happened through the last 20 minutes of that podcast. Even on the lowest setting, the Sucking Clitoris Stimulator and Wand Massager felt really fucking good. I still didn’t feel comfortable making a lot of noise but I wasn’t worried about anything else. I felt confident the towel would catch whatever might happen.
On the lowest setting, the wand tip against my clitoral hood, I sat back and allowed the waves of pleasure to crest, over and over again. Again, they started as small ripples before the orgasm crashed into me. Every muscle tensed. I grimaced through clenched teeth. I held the pillow next to me in a vice grip, praying it would keep me grounded and prevent the eminent explosive shattering of my soul.
Once I came down from a few rolling orgasms (a big thanks to the Universe for making me multi-orgasmic), I was empty. Loose. Relaxed. And too sensitive for any more play. Even better, I was ready to get to work.
My point to all of this is that even though I don’t masturbate for the same reasons or as often as I once did, with the right technique or tool (like this wand massager from Sohimi), I still get the pleasure and release I’m familiar with. Yes, things have changed in terms of how I think about my self-pleasure. And I’m aware that I might be more relaxed and less stressed if I did it more often. But these days, when I do engage in sexy alone time, it’s like visiting an old friend or returning to a beloved place that I thought existed only in memory. I masturbate less often and for decidedly non-sexy reasons, but I still find plenty of satisfaction in it when I do.
About the Sucking Clitoral Stimulator and Wand Massager from Sohimi
Spoiler alert: Everything bit of pleasure I just described came from the Wand Massager end of this dual-stimulating vibrator. I know that I’m not often a fan of clitoral suckers/air pressure/sonic wave toys. Not because they’re not great toys, but because they’re a pain in the ass for me to use. My clit is deeply recessed and very sensitive, so trying to apply a clit sucker to it is often painful or annoying. When (if) I do manage to make it work, the orgasm happens so fast that I end up disappointed. I’ve only had one or two clit suckers amaze me, and this one was not one of them.
In this case, I couldn’t get the sucker end to work on my clit at all. I gave up trying after a few minutes because it wasn’t worth it to me to put in the effort. So as I discuss this vibrator, my opinions come from the wand massager end. Is the sucker end good? Maybe, maybe not. I didn’t enjoy it and gave up trying to use it.
The wand massager was surprisingly powerful. Typically, I crank up the intensity as high as it will go, but with Sohimi’s Wand Massager, I didn’t need to. The lowest setting offered enough stimulation. In fact, when I moved up to the second and third levels, it was almost too much. And no, I don’t play with the patterns because they rarely work for me, and they mostly just annoy me. There were a few patterns to choose from, though, if that’s your thing.
About this particular vibrator:
- 7 vibration and suction settings
- Soft silicone
- Flexible wand massager head
- Magnetic charging
- Very quiet — the wand massager was louder than the clit sucker but both are discreet
- Easy-to-push buttons
- Affordable (at time of publication, this vibrator is $34.99!)
The silicone felt good in my hand. And although I could feel the vibrations through the handle of the vibrator, it never made my hand tingle or bothered me as it has in previous vibrators. Something about the silicone and/or the design muted it so it was comfortable to hold. Pro tip: Hold it with your thighs and it becomes a hands-free toy. That felt good the first day I used it and did nothing the second day. I imagine the angle had something to do with it.
Cleaning it should be easy, as it’s waterproof but be mindful of the grooves at the end of the wand, near the clit sucker. Gunk (like body fluids and dried lube) could easily get crusty in that section so be thorough when you’re cleaning it.
I can absolutely see me using this during penetrative sex with John Brownstone. And I think he’ll enjoy feeling the vibrations, too.
Curious about this vibrator? Check it out here: Sucking Clitoris Stimulator and Wand Massager
Shop the entire site here: Sohimi.com
Check out images of the Sucking Clitoral Stimulator and Wand Massager:
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