I Forgot How Much PMS Sucks

I haven’t had my period in nearly five years.

I’m in my 30s, and no, it isn’t from menopause. After the birth of my youngest, I went back on birth control because this factory was clooooooooosed. No more babies for me. But I kept forgetting to take my pill.

To be fair, I wasn’t exactly having regular sex with my husband at the time so getting pregnant probably wasn’t something to worry about, but the possibility was there, and I wasn’t taking any chances.

My doctor recommended Mirena as an alternative to the pill. Inserted vaginally, it would last for five years, and in her words, “Probably stop your period completely.”

Not sure I’ve ever signed up for anything quicker in my whole life.

I heard about the side effects. I’ve seen the lawsuits. Don’t care. It could have made my pussy glow in the dark, and I was still willing to try it out. No period for five years?! Whaaaaaaa??

Here I am, five years later, and I will need to have the old one removed and a new one inserted in the next three months. I’m dreading the procedure as the last time felt like a massive punch in the gut. But I can live with it because I know it will keep me period-free and pregnancy-free for another five years.

I can tell my birth control is nearing the end of its life. I’ve had PMS over the last three months, and it sucks. I’ve cried. I’ve railed at the world. I’ve eaten too much chocolate. Each month it’s lasted a little longer and been more intense. Fun times.

Poor John Brownstone. He’s only known a period-free, PMS-free Kayla. This has been a new experience for him.

Whenever he starts thinking it’s bad, I tell him the horror stories of the pre-Mirena years. Nine day periods (yes, that really happened – a LOT). Hormonal swings that lasted a week. Cramps that kept me in bed for three or four days at a time.

My current birth control saved my panties, my sheets, and my sanity.

For the small bouts of hormonal fluctuations he’s lived through over the past few months, he’s been a trooper. He rubs my back to soothe me, gives me plenty of spankings to clear my mind, and doesn’t say a word when I attack a piece of chocolate like a hyena diving into a decaying carcass in the wild. He backs away slowly when I start to growl a little, though.

I don’t miss the old days, the pre-Mirena days. I’ve always hated my period and PMS. The past few months have simply been a reminder that I prefer to keep my hormonal fluctuations in check as much as medical science will allow.

Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week’s prompt was about hormones and reminded me that John Brownstone and I survived a week of hormonal hell earlier this month. Hopefully that will end in the next few months, and I can get back to “normal” – whatever that means.