Eating Elephants #Dominance and #Submission

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

What the hell has that got to do with anything? Well, it’s a metaphor. How do you tackle big problems, finish big tasks, take on big dreams? One step at a time.

Daddy and I have been eating our elephant since February. Our big talk before he left was less about our mutual kinky desire and more about what we want to do and how we’re going to get there. In some ways, we’re so much alike, it’s scary. We both need a plan, a list, and a strategy for most things in our lives. For both of us, this was the first time we felt we had a partner in all of it. We haven’t been alone. We’ve worked together. He’s told me what he thinks I need to do. I’ve gently advised him on what I think he needs to do. And we’ve listened to one another.

I firmly believe that the Universe is always looking out for us – whether that’s God, Allah, or the man in the moon. Things happen for a reason (not that I have any clue what those reasons might be). And when you’re on the right path, doors open up. Life isn’t automatically easier, but what you need to accomplish the goal seems to come out of nowhere and land in your lap.

We’ve both been cautiously optimistic that our June timeline could actually happen. There were so many things that needed to happen first. I think we were both a little worried about jinxing ourselves. When I wondered if the items on the list would ever get checked off so we could move to the next thing, miraculously, the issues resolved themselves. Thank you, Universe.

Daddy called and woke me from a rare nap the other day. He knew I was exhausted, but he also knew I wouldn’t mind. He had news.

The two big issues that I’ve wanted resolved were done in one phone call. A formal dissolution of a previous relationship – done and settled amicably. A decision about his old home – which he determined months ago would not be suitable for my boys (I cried at this revelation, y’all – I was overwhelmed that he would make a huge decision based on what was best for my children) – all dealt with in a few minutes. Both settled in a way that works well for all parties involved. I could hear the lightness in his voice and knew a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

Here’s the thing – I’ve been in a holding pattern. A lot of what I need to do has been dependent on the outcomes of what he needed to do. I’m no longer in a holding pattern. Decisions in his life have been settled and now it’s time to move forward another big step. At the end of our conversation, I told him that I felt like I’d literally just eaten an elephant. The reality of our goals happening is overwhelming at times. So what’s next?

I’m hoping that the boys will be able to stay with their grandparents for part of the summer – this will help me get my business up and running and get our home settled and ready for them.

I need to put in my notice at my current job and help everyone deal with the shock. Two people see this coming, but the rest are clueless. I have one of those jobs where I help, in some way, every single department in the building. My leaving will impact everyone. They’ll be ok.

I’ve got to start the purging, packing, and planning that comes with a big move. I’ve never been so excited at the idea of packing boxes in my life.

I’m a person of action. If I see a problem, I want to fix it. If I have a plan, I want to work on it. Some of that is my impatient side. Some of that’s just me. I haven’t been able to do anything. Now I can. As you’re reading this, I’m in negotiations with my mom and stepdad – the step doesn’t want me to move so far away and may make things hard on me. He won’t stop me though – my mother already knows that. If they don’t keep the boys for the summer, life will be hectic, but we’ll make it work. I have no doubt about that.

Other than a run-down of my personal life, what the hell has this got to do with anything, especially Dominance and submission?

Well…this would never have happened without communication and understanding. No couple can take on a big project (personal or otherwise) without a plan that both can agree upon. And things don’t always go according to plan at all. If we didn’t have the type of relationship we do, we’d never have gotten this far. Vanilla or kinky, some things are universal – communication, determination, loyalty, understanding, and above all, love. Without those things, none of this would be possible. With all of those things, all things are possible.

We’re better together than alone. We believe in each other and will move mountains for the other. We desperately want the other’s happiness and will give anything to help achieve it. And together, we’re eating elephants.

How do I feel about it all?