You’re slipping away from me.
Yes, you walked away months ago, but I thought could hold onto memories and moments, scents and remembered touches. All of those are starting to slip away. The hurt feels fresh each time I realize I’ve lost another piece of you.
I don’t remember the smell of your cologne anymore. I may remember the type until the day I die, but I can’t smell it when I close my eyes anymore.
I don’t remember the way your hands felt on my body. You were imprinted on me, on my flesh, in my soul at one time. I’m losing that part of us.
I remember the sparkle of your blue eyes. I remember how the sound of your voice made my body quiver. I remember so much, but you’re still slipping away.
I don’t remember every detail of your voice anymore. I remember your words, your favorite expressions, the accents you could do with ease. I remember the night of your Irish lilt and the way your voice made me cum. But I don’t remember the timbre anymore. I don’t remember the tone. You’re slipping away.
As each little detail leaves, I lose you all over again. The pain feels fresh each time. I feel myself trying to recreate the walls around me that are slowly weakening. I’m tired of hurting, but I hate losing you in this new way.
I know that time marches on. I know that this is inevitable. I feel like a traitor because I can’t seem to hold on. I worry that I’m weak because I’m willing to find small bits of happiness even though they don’t match what I had with you.
You were imprinted on my heart from the moment I met you and each time another piece pulls away, a wound opens back up. I bleed and staunch the wound so no one notices it. I feel like a traitor to the people who have grown to care for me. Why do I hang on to you so tightly when there are others who want to love me – or at least like me – a little?
You’re slipping away from all over again, and there’s nothing I can do about it.