At the risk of sounding like I’ve fallen into my head, again, I have to admit there’s an emptiness within me, a void of sorts, a hollowness aching to be filled.
No tears or gnashing of teeth accompany the feeling. There is no angst. It simply is.
I miss all of who we are together.
Oh hell, Sir, I miss this. To be naked (or nearly so) in Your arms is something I crave desperately. To feel the smoothness of Your shirt against my skin, the roughness of Your hands is one of my deepest desires. To be vulnerable in Your presence fills me with a deep longing that I don’t possess words to describe.
Eek! I want it. I need the burning pain. I need to cry out my gratitude. I ache to feel Your hand on my hot ass while I lay across Your knee. I need my world to center on only the sensations You create. After the last time, I need to know how much more I can take.
But I don’t just need the BDSM part of us. We are D/s whether we’re playing or scening or this…
This I need more than I need anything else. To feel Your arms around me, to smile and laugh and simply exist in Your presence. I miss eating in restaurants, walking through stores, watching TV on your couch, learning new things about You, teaching You very mundane things that I know – who showed You the best store to buy ties and jeans for cheap? Your pretty pet has more little tidbits to share with you.
When we play, I need something very specific from You, something You have never failed to grant me.
And when we’re done for the night. When toys have been cleaned and put away. When I have safely arrived from wherever my mind goes at the end of our play. When You have taken everything You want from me and wrung every cry and orgasm from my body that You desire, I ache for this…
This is what makes me ache in the middle of the night. This is what brings tears to my eyes when I think too hard about missing You. This is what I long for in ways that only You understand. This is what I dream about most nights.
This is what I dream about on other nights…
Oh, Sir, don’t worry about me. I’m not sad. I’m not lost. I’m just fine. But if we’re going to be honest with one another (as we always are), please remember that regardless of my little girl side, my submissive nature, and the woman I am becoming, what I need the most is You, in any way I can have you.