Product Reviews

More Than a Maintenance Wank

John Brownstone left to pick the kids up from school, and I saw my chance. Considering I’d plugged in the Pink B.O.B. (received in exchange for an honest review) hours before, it seemed past time for a wank.

Truly, it had been several days since my last orgasm, so really, it was waaaaay past time.

Come towel down (naturally). Clothes off…okay, just my pants. I was kind of in a hurry.

I’d already played with the Pink B.O.B. a little, to get a sense of it, and I knew it was strong. I just hoped it would work.

As I rested against the pillows, thighs parted, and turned it on, I tried to let my mind go blank. But that’s not how my mind works.

It’s cold in here. The towel is soft. Whoa this is strong. Will it work? Will I like it? Oh, wow, that’s yeah, definitely strong.

I always wish I could fantasize while I masturbate. Imagine John Brownstone touching or watching me. Think of who I want in bed with me. But that’s not what happens.

Instead my mind spins until I can no longer concentrate because pleasure and desire become so strong it blots out all thought. One moment, “I think I’ll have tuna for lunch” and the next I’m mindless, head thrown back, as I clutch the sheet and grip my vibrator even tighter.

No middle ground. No warning. In a split second, I go from rational to ravenous.

The first orgasm was a full body shudder of pleasure. Warmth spread from my thighs, fluid trickled from my body.

The next came swift on it’s heels. An absolute gush and then the tell-tale sound of fluid on a vibrating head.

Smaller, but still wet, releases rolled in. Desire burned a streak up and down my thighs, tightening every muscle in my body.

And then…a fucking flood. A porn star gush. Fluid splashed on my hands and thighs. I wanted more but from one instant to the next, the strong vibrations turned from pleasure to pain.

My mind was back in control. Oh that doesn’t feel as good anymore. What if I move it…Hmmm, can I have another? Once my head got into the mix, it was all over.

It was over and done in less than 15 minutes. The bed was soaked, and so was the Pink B.O.B. For all my swirling thoughts, my mind had quieted. For the first time all day, I felt relaxed and more focused.

I think that was a maintenance wank.

I couldn’t wait to tell – and show – John Brownstone my new toy. Later that night, I got my chance.

The build-up was quicker. I knew where to place it, how to hold it, what setting I preferred (the steady, non-patterned option). The first orgasm didn’t trickle in. It body-slammed itself into me. The second almost lifted my body off the bed.

Just as it broke, I realized he’d jumped out of the bed and raced to my side. For a moment, my focus was broken. What?

When I felt his hand against my hot cunt, I knew what he wanted. A little finagling, a slight adjustment, and he was in, pressed against my g-spot. Deep and strong inside my body. I pressed the vibrator against my clitoral hood.

I screamed my way through that final orgasm, every muscle clenching, only a slight trickle leaving my body, too wrung out for more. As I tossed the vibrator to the side, I heard a familiar sucking sound, and then, “You taste good, babygirl.””

Review: Pink B.O.B.

 Pink B.O.B. vibratorWhen Too Timid – an online retailer of smutty, sexy sex toys – reached out and offered to send a few toys to review, I jumped on the chance. In a box of multiple goodies (more reviews coming soon!), was the Pink B.O.B. (yes, battery-operated boyfriend; no, it’s not my favorite name). One look at it’s pink, bulbous head, and I knew I wanted to try it.

But I’ve been disappointed before, so I try to keep a healthy dose of skepticism until I know for sure.

The first time I turned it on and put my hand over the head, I knew. This thing would be powerful.

What I liked about it:

  • It’s rechargeable so no batteries needed.
  • The majority of the vibrations were focused on the head. Only some of the sensation reached the handle.
  • The buttons were easy to reach and operate.
  • It was strong enough that I didn’t have to place it on my very sensitive clit to get off.
  • I squirted and gushed with nearly every orgasm.
  • The head is flexible – which I don’t think I used this time, but I can see the value in it.
  • It’s made of silicone.

Things I discovered as I played:

  • Too much direct stimulation caused pain I didn’t love. Thankfully the vibrations were strong enough (for me) that I didn’t need direct stimulation.
  • If I set it against my body lightly, it felt buzzier. When I pressed it into my body, it felt more rumbly.
  • I got off (multiple times) by placing the wand over my clitoral hood. It slowed down the sensations and let me feel the orgasm build – without any pain.
  • It’s a little loud – not at all discreet – but I’ve used louder.

What I didn’t love:

  • The Pink B.O.B. doesn’t include an instruction manual. Some information is available on their website but something about that annoyed me. When I’m ready to play, I don’t want to go online to figure out how to work a toy. One, this is a personal annoyance, and two, it was easy to figure out.
  • My clit is extremely sensitive. Too much stimulation hurts. The Pink B.O.B. definitely caused some unwanted pain. It was almost too strong.
  • Because of the intensity, I couldn’t play for very long or handle too much contact.
  • Yet another charging cord that doesn’t match any other toy I have. Ugh.
  • I can’t tell you if it’s waterproof or not because the box doesn’t say and there’s (let me repeat) no instruction manual included. Cleaning with soap and water is fine, and the charging port is fairly covered but I honestly don’t know.

None of these things are non-starters, of course. They’re small things and easily overcome. Personally, the small annoyances aside, I love the Pink B.O.B. It’s definitely staying on the nightstand.

If you enjoy strong clitoral stimulation, this might be one to try. Whether you need a maintenance wank or not.

Want one for yourself? Check out the Pink B.O.B. on Too Timid!

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am an erotic author, sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, and an opinionated marketer. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

4 Comments

    • I knew someone else could relate to that, lol.

      I realized, as I was writing, that this is my default. Until the orgasm hits, my mind doesn’t stop. Every so often, in a scene with JB, it might calm down before an orgasm but only once it gets really intense.

  • I’m seriously thinking of investing! Sounds intense.
    Although, do I want intense? Like you I did a gusher yesterday and am now just a teeny bit irritated that I have to wash not only the towel, but the sheet and my mattress protector. Slept in the spare room last night, started writing and lost track of time and didn’t get to make the bed up again… Sigh/lol – the perils of maintenance wanking!

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