"I have a plan."
"Okay, babygirl, let me hear it."
"I'm going to try a different sex toy each night and decide which one I like most."
These are the conversations you have when you've got nine toys lined up to try (all received in exchange for honest reviews). Three were from the same brand: Satisfyer. What better way to find a favorite than to try a new one each night?
When the time came, I was nervous. Satisfyers aren't your average vibrator. They use waves of pressure to stimulate your clitoris. With a clit as sensitive as mine, I knew it would either be great or overwhelming.
"I'm scared, Daddy! You do it!"
Naked, in bed, on my special come towel (as you do), and I was afraid to touch myself or turn it on. Thankfully he's always game for kinky fuckery like this. Kneeling between my open thighs, he pulled back my clitoral hood, placed the Satisfyer Pro 2 in place, and turned it on.
The first setting was nothing in terms of stimulation. The second was okay but nothing happened fast enough. The third? Oh holy hell. Being the greedy girl I was, I demanded the next setting, and I felt like a mini-jackhammer was trying to rip apart my clit. No, no! We started again and went with setting 3. I came. And came.
Projectile squirting. Great gushes. Wetness everywhere. The towel couldn't keep up. But I experienced none of the bone-crushing, muscle-clenching, toe-curling part of the orgasms I enjoy. My clit responded but the rest of me was left behind. We took a break. I tried again, this time holding it myself which put it in a different position.
I don't just want to come. I want the build-up, too. This time I went for a bit of patience and setting 2. Pleasure built, slowly but surely, spreading out through my center and down my legs. John Brownstone, now next to me, reached over and played with my nipples. It was what I needed. When I came, it was in another great gush, but I was screeching and writhing with it.
It didn't take long before my sensitive clit was no longer feeling pleasure but pain. I tossed the toy to the side. Now it was just too much.
The next night, it was time for the Pro Penguin. Small and an easier fit in my hand, I thought I might like this one better. My babygirl self thought it was just Too Cute!
I wasn't nervous this time. I knew what air tapping on my clit felt like now. Holding it against my body, I began to play with the settings. One was too low. Two wasn't enough. Three was better.
And by better, I mean that within moments my body convulsed and shuddered. My pussy spasmed. I could feel my cunt opening and closing. John Brownstone, kneeling between my legs to watch, gasped.
"You're creamy as hell down there!"
No squirting orgasms. These were the body-quaking climaxes that steal my breath and cause convulsing aftershocks. Not bad.
But also, not great. The build-up wasn't the same. I got the end result but none of the journey.
I tried it the next morning in the shower because it's supposed to be waterproof and amazing in water. It seems to be, but the angle was bad for me. One small orgasm and then nothing.
The third and final try, the Satisfyer 2 looks like something out of an old science fiction movie. It should shoot lasers or something. Instead, it shoots air.
Same set up. Same towel. Same hope.
On this one I needed setting 4. I came but it hurt a little because the setting was just a little too high. It wasn't gushy. It wasn't bone-crushing. The orgasm appeared and vanished.
"Will you try, Daddy?"
He was only too happy to press a toy into my clit for me. Switching the angle of the toy might do something different - that was my hope at least.
Nothing. I was like Baby Bear - it was either too much or not enough, no matter what setting he tried.
I grabbed the Satisfyer Pro 2 again, knowing the orgasms had been plentiful that first night. They were this time, too. Toe curling, cunt spasming, projectile squirting orgasms. This time, when we finished, I was a little spent, a little breathless. It wasn't much but it was better.
"If I have to pick a favorite of the three, it's the Satisfyer Pro 2."
About the Satisfyer Toys
That doesn't sound like a glowing, sexy, erotic review, does it? Because it wasn't. Here's the deal - they're not bad toys, but I don't think they're for me. I've seen glowing reviews from people who absolutely love Satisfyer toys. All that proves is that we're all different, and you never really know until you try one.
The pulses of pressure felt strange, and when it was too much, it really hurt. The localized stimulation was kind of a block to the rest of my body. Without external stimulation from John Brownstone, I felt no real pleasure. Just the mechanics of an orgasm.
I want the pleasure. I want the build-up. The release is nice but when it's removed from my head and the rest of my body, it's completely unsatisfying.
Here's what I liked about all three:
- The settings meant that sensitive clit people (like me) could go low and people who need lots of stimulation had options. I never went above the fifth setting and there are 11 of them.
- It felt good in my hand and was easy to hold. Even the big Satisfyer 2 was comfortable.
- The orgasms, when I achieved them, were big - either squirting with the Pro 2 or creamy with the Penguin Pro 2.
- Two were USB rechargeable and held their charge very well. One took batteries.
- They're waterproof and someone with a different body might enjoy that experience very much.
I don't reject the Satisfyer line as bad toys. They just aren't for me. While clitoral stimulation is important for me, it's not the only thing I need.
Want to know more about the Satisfyer toys? Click the links below.