Podcast

Consent in BDSM is More than Yes or No #podcast

 

SQUEEEEE!!!!

John Brownstone sat down with me for this week’s Loving BDSM podcast episode. Not only that, he suggested the topic! Even better, the topic was brought to mind by one of his Tumblr followers.

I swear, I love how things just sort of work out and come full circle, and all I have to do is participate and soak up the experience. It’s one thing to be passionate about something and to believe in what you’re doing. It’s another thing to have others help you make it happen.

This week, the topic is a big one. We’re talking consent in a more nuanced way than giving a simple yes or no. Do I think we’ve hit on every possible detail or side of this? Not at all, but it’s a start, and hopefully it helps people think about consent in a different way or talk about it more easily with their kinky partner or just see something from a different perspective.

Ultimately, consent comes down to a few things (and maybe more than a few, but this is what we touched on): communication, trust, and responsibility from both top and bottom or Dominant and submissive.

Just a note: I don’t have a transcript of this week’s episode. If anyone knows a cheap, easy way to turn audio recordings into transcripts, please let me know.

From the show:

  • Special shout-out to Tumblr follower, Ruth Kay, for inspiring the episode.
  • Kayla says one word that is a favorite of some listeners.
  • John Brownstone discusses consent when a submissive is drunk.
  • Consent is more than yes or no.
  • Informed consent means understanding what is will happen, communicating what won’t happen, and understanding how toys or implements will feel before they are used.
  • What does implied consent mean?
  • In a 24/7 power exchange relationship, Dominants may have permission to take what they want, but it doesn’t mean they always should.
  • Dominants have a responsibility to their submissives well-being and health – mental, emotional, and physical.
  • Submissives have a responsibility to communicate how they feel, if they’re upset or sick, and anything else that may affect a Dominant’s decision.
  • Consent requires a certain amount of trust.
  • Communication and consent go hand-in-hand.
  • Dominants are able to withdraw their consent by ending a scene or refusing to engage in certain activities.
  • Basically, there’s much more to consent than yes or no.

Listen to the show:

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Loving BDSM podcast

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

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