Hey Mike, pop a squat with me here. I got a new cigar, a honey blonde. Woo-wheee, reminds me of a blonde honey I had down in London years ago. Did you know I been around the world and fucked women on every continent?
Man, don't look at me like that! Naw, I ain't much to look at, but I don't have to be. Escorts, man. Find the right escort in the right city, and when you fly out, it'll be with a smile and, if she's willin' to get kinky, probably a limp or somethin'.
Did I tell you 'bout the time I visited Australia? I went all over that damn place. Not as scary as all those spider and snake shows tell you. Yeah I hired girls in every city I visited. The Perth escorts were trim and tanned. Found me an old porn star hanging out. Damn it, but she was fine. A sweet juicy pussy I couldn't wait to get my cock into.
I buried my face in the tits of three Brisbane escorts. Little tits, big tits, they're all ripe to me. I just wanna put 'em in my mouth and suck. A little Asian girl sucked my cock and then I blew my load all over her pretty face.
Why was I in Australia? Hell if I know. Sales meetings or somethin'. I only remember the drinks at lunch and I mostly don't remember those. It's all a haze now. Well, 'cept for all that fuckin'. Gawd them girls were hot.
One night, I was in some little old nothin' town, no pretty girl to keep me company. I had my cock in one hand, jackin' off and the whiskey bottle in the other. I kept wishin' I had some sweet thang there. I'dda poured whiskey over my cock just to watch her lick it clean.
Don't look at me like that, man. You're about to start travelin' around the world, too. I know Australia's on your destination list. I'm tryin' to tell you how to have a good time while you're there. Hush up and listen to me, damn it. You want the pussy, don't ya? Pussy you don't have to worry'll call you or that you're wife'll find out about? Right?
That's what I thought. Listen to your bud, Larry, and I'll get you hooked right up. Pass me that bottle, man. I'm thirsty and horny. Can't do nothin' about my cock right now but I can wet my whistle. Unless you want to watch?
No? It's cool, no worries. Where was I?
Oh yeah, pretty pussy in Australia. Them escorts in Melbourne are high class shit, man. I had a squirter, though. Nearly fuckin' drowned me while I was eatin' her out. It was fuckin' awesome. I did pour a little somethin' on her pussy, made her taste even sweeter. Mmmmm, damn, my mouth is waterin' just at the memory.
Now, if you can make it there, try out the escorts in Townsville. There was one ole girl, she was curvy thing, almost fat, but still, sexy as hell. Wore these high heels, and I just sank down into her. Soft like a fuckin' pillow or somethin'. Titties has big as my damn head. Coulda suffocated in her cleavage, but damn what a way to go!
Where you goin', Mike? You always tell me to stop callin' you that. But it sounds better than Michelle. That's boring. And hell, you're doin' man's work out there. Be a fuckin' man, Mike!
Don't tell me to put the liquor down! Don't you fuckin' grab it out of my goddamned hand. I am not a fuckin' drunk just 'cause I like pussy, and I know you do, too, Mike. I'll call you Mike if I want to!
Owwwwwww! Fine, fine, damn, you win. Michelle. When you get down under, fuckin' go down under, alright? Eat the pussy. Fuck the pussy. Enjoy the fuckin' pussy!
This post was sponsored by 6th.com.au. I received financial compensation, but the kinky writing and crazy drunk guy is all from my own strange writer brain.