Okay, so safety in the kink world is a humongo (technical term) topic. Recently, John Brownstone and I had a few situations where our views on safety were brought to the forefront - once in conversation and twice in the middle of some kinky fuckery. We know how to play safe, but it's easy to get complacent and forget how important it is to talk about it after a while.
Whenever something happens to me (or him or us), I figure it's probably happening to someone else. So, of course, I made our issues into a podcast episode. From my opinions (which he shares with me) on alcohol/drug use and kink to the fact that a safeword isn't the only thing that should keep everyone safe in a scene or during kinky sex, there's a lot to discuss and think about. This episode is only the tip of the iceberg, I know, but you have to start some place!
From the show...
- After enough time together, Kayla and John Brownstone rarely discuss safety anymore but it does come up from time to time.
- They follow Safe, Sane, and Consensual but there's also RACK and PRICK
- Intoxication from alcohol or drugs and kink don't mix - at least for Kayla.
- If you can't drive a car after a few drinks, you definitely should pick up a flogger, tie up your submissive, or anything else that could cause harm if you screw up.
- Safewords aren't the only way to stay safe during a scene.
- Dominants need to watch their submissives closely and read their body language and other non-verbal cues.
- Sometimes, it's not possible to say "Red" or whatever safeword you use.
- A Dominant needs to use his/her best judgement and err on the side of safety and caution, especially if your partner is new to you.
- John Brownstone kept going when Kayla couldn't speak properly because he used the rest of the signals and cues she was giving him.
- Bottom line: A safeword isn't a fail safe. Dominants can't just rely on a spoken word.
Listen to the show:
Listen on iTunes (and leave a review if you love what you hear!)
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A full transcript is included.