We almost never see ourselves the way that others see us.
Sometimes that's a good thing. I have a strong resting bitch-face, and I've been told on numerous occasions I'm intimidating. Actually, no, I'm usually thinking. What am I saying? I'm always thinking about something, good or bad.
People who barely know us take one look and either ignore us or make a snap judgement. Think about it. When was the last time you heard a mother yell at her child in public? Did you make any automatic assumptions about her? I used to...until I had children of my own to yell at, lol.
People who know us quite well - and who love us - see something that we don't often see. When I look at John Brownstone I see pure strength, even as emotion overtakes him, a rarity for sure. I also see a handsome, loving, amazing man who I may or may not have dubbed "cute" the other day.
I think I know what he sees in me, and, after a lot of years of introspection, I see some of that in myself as well.
All that should matter in life is how we see ourselves. The problem is that few people see themselves as they really are.
The arrogant assholes of the world would say they see nothing wrong with who they are and how they act. Even as they stomp across the rest of us.
The meek would probably say they're nothing special.
Those with low self-esteem often say they're unworthy, unnecessary, and unloveable.
There are many with a good self-image who know themselves well and acknowledge what is both good and bad about them.
So is it really about our own self-image and how see ourselves? Or is it what we put out into the world and have reflected back at us?
Do we focus on our own self-image or what others see in us?
I know the right answer is technically "Both." But it's damn difficult. It takes brutal honesty with yourself to step back and see yourself as you really are. We're taught we shouldn't focus on the negative about ourselves, but sometimes that's the best way to grow and change - even as we acknowledge and celebrate the good.
In the question of self-image, I have zero answers.
At the age of 35, I see myself more clearly and know myself better than at any other time in previous years. I know who I am and what I do. I genuinely like all of who I am - even the parts I'm working to improve. For me, it's less important to talk about what I like (or don't) or why I think I'm great (a good activity for those with low self-esteem).
What's most important is that I live my own truth with the understanding that I don't have all the answers, there's plenty left to learn, and a willingness to admit that not everyone will think I'm great. I think if more of us had a similar self-image and self-knowledge about who and what we are, the world would probably be a much better place.
Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! The prompt this week is "self image." Not sure I made much sense with this one, and since nothing sexy came to mind, I went with the rolling, rambling thoughts jamming traffic in my head. Click that little image below and go see what others are writing this week.