From my monthly article at Scene Magazine:
Everything changes. We grow. We move on. Life happens. Change is inevitable.
When I first discovered the world of BDSM, I thought my kinks were set in stone, and my interests would never change. Kinks are about preferences. My taste for sweet iced tea (I’m southern, y’all) has been virtually the same my whole life. Certainly my taste for kink should stay the same, right?
Wrong. Thinking that “kinks” won’t change is like thinking that food preferences won’t change. I’ve always loved sweet tea, but in the past year or so, I’ve also grown to love hot tea. As a child, I hated drinking water, but I grab a bottle of water each and every day – with no complaints. Preferences change because we change.
Imagine my surprise, though, when I first learned my kinks could change. For the record, I haven’t discarded any (yet). I’ve only added. My appetite for sexual adventure and boundary-pushing grows each and every day.
In the beginning, I stared at pictures and videos and devoured stories about different kinks. Spanking made me nervous because I didn’t know if I could handle the pain. Nipple clamps and pinching got me excited because I knew just how sensitive my own have always been. Golden showers and scat made me want to gag. Some things haven’t changed. Pinched nipples are bliss. Spanking, I’ve learned, can be therapeutic. And piss and shit play still grosses me out. (Note: these are my opinions only. If you like something (and it’s legal) go for it!)