Life is all about finding balance. Personally, I can’t live in extremes. That holds true professionally and personally. Even in (especially?) my relationship with Daddy.
I’m not only a bedroom submissive, but because of our preferences and our lives, we’re not in a full 24/7 relationship. We’re more of a hybrid – which allows for balance.
Someone asked me recently how I managed to be D/s with children. Well, I explained, I don’t exactly kneel and crawl when the boys are around. All they see is that I’m polite and respectful to Daddy. They may hear me ask his opinion, but when I have to ask permission, they don’t hear the direct question. He and I have gotten pretty good at speaking with a few looks and hand gestures.
If they had been raised around this kind of relationship, maybe I would be comfortable calling him “Daddy” in front of them, but since they haven’t, I use his name – which feels and sounds very foreign because to me, he’s only Daddy, except when he’s Sir.
I went on to explain that the rules I have to follow aren’t brought up in conversation around the boys. I simply follow them, and nothing is so strange or out-there that they would wonder why I was doing something.
It’s all about finding balance, you see.
While sometimes it feels like I have a split personality, I can (and have to) switch from speaking to Daddy in dulcet, respectfully sweet tones to laying down the law in no uncertain terms to two little boys who love to make mischief. And then, I turn right back around to Daddy and continue where we left off. Balance.
I may receive a message from Daddy to pinch my nipple, take off my panties, play with myself, whatever while I’m at work (all in the ladies room, by the way). He knows I can’t always just drop what I’m doing to comply (although I wish I could). He respects that I sometimes have to find the time to slip away – but that I will do my task and report back. Balance.
In dominance and submission, we still have to live and deal with a very vanilla world. I don’t want to answer uncomfortable questions (or lose my job), so we find the balance between kink and non-kink, the lifestyle and vanilla.
At the end of the day, it’s not always about the small details of how we live the lifestyle – but that we lived it at all. If our dirty text message conversation is interrupted while I give the four year old a bath, that’s ok. If our plan to play while on the phone is interrupted because one of us had a no-good-rotten-day and we want to talk about it, that’s ok. It’s all about finding balance to make the relationship, the lifestyle, and the kink work.
Everyone will find balance in their own way – there’s no standard. It’s wishful thinking, in my world, to believe I can go about my entire day in a submissive frame of mind. Knowing that my Daddy understands the push and pull I experience makes life a lot easier for both of us.
Welcome to Wicked Wednesday! This week’s prompt is about “Balance” – since I’m still working on physical balance through yoga, and I have yet to find work-life balance, I went with something I’m quite familiar with.