Submission is more than bondage. Submission is more than orgasm denial or forced orgams, although yummy. Submission is more than whips, chains, spreader bars, ball gags, pulled hair, bound wrists, collars, cuffs, anal plugs, hitachi wands, spankings, or face-fucking. So what is it? Well, it’s different for everyone.
For me, submission is…
Making his coffee the way he likes it and serving it to him.
Cooking his dinner and serving him the biggest portion first.
Wearing my hair down because that’s his preference.
Wearing the panties he chooses or none at all, at his discretion.
Asking permission to come to bed.
Never interrupting him when he speaks.
Kneeling at his feet, head and eyes down, waiting on his whim.
Kneeling at his feet, looking into his eyes with love and desire.
Letting him decide when I can indulge in treats to eat.
Waiting for him to open a door for me.
Telling myself I am loved and beautiful every day because he says so.
Asking his opinion in all things.
Heeding his word when he makes a decision.
Understanding that he only has my best interests in mind.
Some of these are easier than others. Some I chose to do before he ever asked. All of these things allow me to feel my submission when kinky sex isn’t an option – and even when it is. Submitting to him feels as natural as breathing, even when a specific task is difficult to do. As he becomes used to my submission, I can feel his Dominance growing; he is more confident each and every time we’re together. We have a renegotiation coming up. I have no doubt there will be more Dominance and more submission when we’re through. I’m looking forward to it.
Do not look in from the outside and presume you understand this kind of relationship. He leads and I follow, but I am his treasure, and I know it. Yes, he has control and he takes what he wants, but only because I give it, willingly, freely, happily. He is my safe haven to let the rest of the world fall away – the control, the decision making, the constant alertness and worry. With him, I can simply exist knowing that I am well loved and taken care of. And in return, I take care of him. That is Dominance and submission.