“Here. Hold this.” He handed me one end of the rope while he walked around me with the other end.
I looked down at the rope in my hand, stupefied. Daddy continued to form the rope harness around my body, pulling here, tugging rope. The wand, already securely in place, lay cold and silent against my mound. Even so, my cunt began to throb in anticipation.
Holy shit, I’m helping him torture me.
There are moments of analytic clarity that dawn on me at the weirdest times. I trust Daddy so much that I hold my arms out while he trusses me up. And I help him strap torture device to my clit. Consent is consent is consent. But, in Dominance and submission, consent goes beyond simply acquiescing to mutual desires. This is more than simply saying, “Yes, you can fuck me rough and dirty. Yes, I’ll do what you want.”
I’m a willing participant in everything we do. Every so often, I make suggestions of my own. And sometimes, I’m his assistant.
“Daddy? Is this supposed to be uneven?” I pointed to the ropes across my abdomen, one side higher than the other. He adjusted the rope until they looked right.
“Thanks, babygirl.” A quick kiss on the cheek, a pat on the ass, and he continued wrapping the rope around my body.
I trembled in anticipation, knowing he planned much more than simply practicing his rope skills. He wanted to play with the new toy. I wanted him to play with the new toy, but I also understood that pain would come with the pleasure. It was this understanding that gave me the most pause.
I looked at Daddy in astonishment. “Holy shit. I’m fucking aiding and abetting in my own torture, aren’t I, Daddy?”
He chuckled. “Yes, babygirl, you certainly are.”
And that ladies and gentlemen, is one of the biggest mindfucks of D/s. This isn’t just about wanting a Dominant to take control and make me do things I’m afraid to do on my own (although there is that). This isn’t just about wanting to be fucked and used and made to cry (that’s good, too, though). This isn’t just about toys, wands, gags, rope, and the like (so much fun!).
This is consent on another level. I am participating in my own undoing. And I love every fucking moment of it.