It's Saturday, and my intention is to post something about Dominance and submission. And maybe I will later. But today, I'm having this moment of, "Please don't make me." I don't want to promote, I don't want to hashtag, I don't want to worry about whether anyone wants to read my books (yes, plural - more on that later).
I don't feel particularly sexy so no erotica to share. I don't feel particularly market-y, so no promotional tweets, Facebook posts, Tumblr posts, or blog posts. I simply want to come to this space and word vomit all over the place - because I can.
I want the freedom to say that I doubt my ability to be heard through the clutter of noise from the hundreds of thousands of people just like me who've published and now must sell.
I want to tell you that I think I'm going about this whole writing/promoting thing the right way, but my version of "the right way" requires patience, and I'm not a patient girl. And doing what I believe is the right thing for me still fills me with doubts.
I want to say that I often wonder about the promos I see from other writers. Are we all just full of shit, desperately trying to make ourselves seem more successful than we are in an attempt to convince people who don't know us to take a chance on our writing?
I believe that I'll only find success by building a community of people who like either me or my words - the two may be mutually exclusive - and by being real. I don't want a blog that's nothing but a string of commercials for myself or others. I want this to be a space for me to be who I am, completely, in all my imperfect glory.
The reality is that marketing my own writing is a business, and I have to treat it like a business, regardless of my doubts, no matter how tired I may be, and even if no one is actually paying attention. I guess I'm saying that I just want a day off...
END WHINING RANT