Boobday Emotions

#Boobday In Spirit Only

Happy Boobday! No picture of my boobs this week. Time got away from me, and I had no real reason to take a picture of them that was any different from other boob pictures I’ve posted.

I’m writing this on Thursday night for a Friday morning post, and I’m not feeling particularly sexy or smart or cheeky. I was beaten down by a three year old tonight. There was screaming and crying – from both of us.

I know, intellectually, that this too shall pass and we will survive this. But right now, I feel like a failure. I know, I know, I’m not a failure. But there are moments when I’m at my wits end (like every parent) and I wonder why I can’t seem to win the fight, and it’s in those moments, I wonder what’s wrong with me.

I didn’t go through the threes with my oldest by myself. I was still married, and it didn’t seem this hard. Maybe it was and I’ve blocked it all out. But nothing seems to reach him. Nothing.

It was as I was restraining him while he kicked at me and screamed that I cried, quietly to myself. It was when I finally hit my breaking point and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me, that I finally penetrated through the fog of his anger. I went to my room, threw myself across the bed, and sobbed – like the little girl that I am sometimes. I heard his bedroom door open, and I got up – prepared to yell again – and he apologized.

I sat down on the floor outside of his bedroom, and he sat down across from me. We just stared at each other for a moment. Finally I asked him why he apologized. He told me that his brother said he should. I cried all over again. He and I came to an understanding, of sorts, and I tucked him back into bed.

I gave my oldest a final kiss good night and whispered, “Thank you, baby.”

Maybe I’m doing something right after all.

Anyway, no boobday for me this week. But go on over to Hy’s world and check out all the lovely boobies that I’m sure are posted there. You’ll be glad you did!

 

About the author

Kayla Lords

I am a sex blogger, podcaster, freelance writer, international speaker, kink educator, and all-around kinky woman. You can find me online sharing my innermost sexual thoughts and experiences, teaching other bloggers how to make money writing about sex, and helping kinksters have happy healthy BDSM relationships. I'm also a masochistic babygirl submissive with an amazing and sadistic Daddy Dom and business partner, John Brownstone. Welcome to my kinky corner of the internet!

18 Comments

  • There are always rough moments, those to shall pass. That he apologized speaks volumes, there is light at the end of the tunnel and it isn’t another train. ((HUGS))

  • Hugs my friend. One of my sweetest girlfriends is doing it alone with 4. the youngest is 3 the oldest 9. And I did it with 1, and married and it was still the hardest challenge of my life. they magically know just when you are at your weakest and just were to push to set you off. Know that it never gets easier the challenges just change, and we learn to breath thru the tough spots. Why else did we learn Lamas. It was not for child birth, but child life.

  • Mine are 3 and next week 6. Times are seriously trying on occasion. I quietly as i boil wonder why I wanted children in the first place. Then moments come when they act like the little people I try so hard to teach them to be. Best of luck to us all.

    • I do have those moments too…3 is the toughest of the young age range. My oldest is 7 and yes, he drives me crazy sometimes but it’s just not the same. We will survive it. Just like our parents survived us. 🙂

  • You know how they say you’ll look back on this and laugh?
    Maybe not real soon. :-/

    In the meantime, (((hugs)))

  • Lots of love and hugs for both of you. He’s just as frustrated and unable to express himself as you are when things get like this. (btdt X wayyy too many) It was about the 3 age that I started using one of my best defences. “I will Always love you, but at this moment I don’t like you/ I don’t like you or your behaviour. I don’t know exactly why it worked, but it did. I tried to say it as calmly as possible and would walk away.

    Hope things improve over the weekend.

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