You worry about me at a time when I am supposed to be in the background. I hurt for You because I can sense the stress that causes. You feel bad that our connection has frayed a bit, simply by circumstances beyond our control.
You’ve lost temporary control over parts of Your life. I can feel the lion within You pacing and growling in impatience. You focus on what’s right in front of You, then feel bad for “neglecting” other facets of Your life. I would do anything to help You realize that You’ve neglected nothing, certainly not me. Those who loved You before this still love You now and will welcome Your return to Your “normal” life with open arms.
I sense the weariness emanating from your very pores. You need rest. You need comfort. You need control. To be the softness in the dark that You reach for, the willing vessel for every want and need, that is my deepest desire. In that way, I can help ease the weariness.
If I could give You anything right now, it would be the opportunity to release the stress simmering below the surface, the stress pops and sizzles with mounting pressure. I wonder if the Sensual Sadist within You was allowed to come out in all His glory how You might feel after. If You could tire Your arm out wielding a paddle or if You felt a burning in Your palm from countless smacks, would the external forces crushing You now seem less burdensome? Would Your mind feel clear again?
You allow me to glimpse this vulnerable side every so often. I wonder if anyone else senses it. I doubt it. You believe You have to be strong for everyone. Maybe You do, but not for me. I know You’re a lion. I know You’re fierce and strong. Showing the other side of You does not make You weak; it simply makes You human.
The day will come, in its own time, incapable of being rushed simply by desire, when we will be together again. I pray that You will use me to relieve the pressure, find comfort, and finally, rest.