One night does not an experienced submissive make, and I am fully aware of that. But I know me very well, and I know that I was off yesterday.
I cried easily yesterday. I slept half the day. When I woke up from an unplanned nap, I was lightheaded and dizzy. My emotions were at the surface, but they were not positive. I experience my emotions very physically at times, and I was sick nearly all day. Sir and I discussed it - subdrop, my own unique brand of it.
What I needed, I could not have. I needed His presence, His calming influence, Him.
I'm better today. A full night's sleep, a hot breakfast, and a few moments to share with all of you. I feel more normal.
Yet I feel so changed on the inside, I believe people should be able to tell when they look at me. Apparently not, though. Maybe that's a good thing. Explaining subspace and subdrop may be a little difficult.
I should be writing the titillating details. I should tell you about showing Sir His pussy and feeling His tongue lap up every bit of me. I should tell you about how natural it felt to lay across his knee while he spanked my (His) ass. I should tell you about the sting of the paddle and how it reduced to me to tears - tears I relished in.
And I will, just not yet. I'm still processing. I'm still reeling from the experience. I'm still learning how to navigate the world feeling so changed and new.